VendM 018: The Adult Vending Machine

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Jidou Hanbaiki ni Umarekawatta ore wa Meikyuu o Samayou
Author: Hiru Kuma
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<t/n: Warning: Some sex-ed talk.>

The Adult Vending Machine

It’s been one week since then. The community is in full-on reconstruction mode; people and money have been flowing in in huge numbers; it’s become pretty lively.
A way to tell the new residents apart is whether or not they’re surprised at seeing me. It’s truly easy to understand.

With just this number of people, though it’s actually kind of a mystery as to how the Hunter Association that runs the community can provide for them all, but one way or another, the material from the two-headed snake and demon frogmen became quite the earnings; it seems it’s become an outrageous amount of gold coins.

By the way, the subjugation party has already received the promised reward from the previous time, and in exchange it’s contracted so that all the material drops from the monsters are acquired by the Hunter Association; the Hunters who had to carry it themselves were pretty bitter about it.

In the end, it looks like the Hunters who had participated in the subjugation of the King Frogman received a separate additional reward, and with that no complaints came from anyone’s mouths.  Come to think of it, the Hunters who couldn’t escape because of their wounds came with a “It was all because of you, so thank you” and bought huge amounts from me.

It looks like that two-headed snake is a monster called Jyasouma¹, and seems like it’s an inhabitant of this Seiryuu’s Lake Level. As expected, it seems like it’s the natural enemy of the frog people; usually we are able to avoid it when the clashes between the two break out, but this time when the Jyasouma went out, it seems it had been strengthening its body as it attacked small frog people communities.

And so, from the frog community we were fighting this time, eating the frogs that had increased a lot on the way, it found the community humans were living in; that’s the Hunter Association’s view on the matter.
But maa, if you’re wondering how I know so much about it, by the way, it’s because I’m currently in the Hunter Association President’s office.

“So, maa, that’s about the gist of the case this time. And Ramis and Hakkon, you both did well. If you guys weren’t there, then the possibility that the situation would become the worst was especially high, so I give you my thanks.”

“Th, that’s, please raise your head!”

From the sofa interposed from the large desk, the bear President half-rose and lowered his head, and Ramis, in order to try to stop him, was violently waving both arms. Her movements were so violent that a wind began to spin. Super-strength, how terrifying.
And then, standing beside these two is a vending machine. If someone from Earth saw this, they’d probably be doubting their eyes na.

“The reason we called you today was also to give an explanation to the separate reward for this time’s case, but there was also a matter we’d like to consult with Hakkon.”

I wonder what it is. He’s being so formal and even stiffening up. The bear President’s eyes have hints of earnestness; somehow my animal-like instincts are whispering to run away. I’m a vending machine, though.

I know that he’s a good person inside, but when there’s a huge bear at full force right in front of your eyes, it’s really not that easy to get used to it.

“Hakkon, I heard that you were able to put out any product that the other party wants, but I was wondering if that was true.”

Another excessive expectation. Certainly I have the ability to choose what products I stock according to what someone wants, but the products are limited to [vending machine products I have purchased before].

If I could put out anything, then I could have set up pistols and weapons and that fight would probably have become something fun. Something vending machines don’t sell is impossible, and just saying, I can brag that I’ve basically bought any product that I’ve seen, but even then there was still probably vending machine products that I didn’t know about in that world.
That’s why the answer is “no”, but I want to convey that I can to some degree. How should I respond?

“Welco-    Too bad.”

“Mu, what does that mean?”

“Probably, Hakkon means that he can, but there are also things that he can’t.”

“Welcome”

Ramis’ interpretation helps out a lot.
The bear President also understands now, and nods his head many times. A, he looks like a bear at the zoo begging for food; oops, I shouldn’t be thinking that.

“So that’s it. Then, since there’s a possibility, there’s a matter I’d like to discuss. A-, Ramis, could you leave for a bit? This is something I’d like to talk to Hakkon about privately.”

“That’s fine; uuum, would it be fine if I waited on the first floor?”

“Aa, please. As soon as we’re done, I’ll send someone to let you know.”

“Un, got it. Talks between men are things you don’t want to get involved with; Mother always said that too. Then, I’ll be waiting below.”

“Thank you very much.”

Because I called out to her as she was leaving, Ramis turned and waved her arm wildly then shut the door.
Behind closed doors is a bear and a vending machine. Though if that guy doesn’t hurry up and start the discussion then there’s no way to continue the discussion.

“First let me explain the situation. Currently, this community is getting overrun with a huge amount of people. Formerly, three years ago, this was a much more prosperous community … no, you could call it on the scale of a town.”

I can tell that the people are increasing just from looking at the sales, but that something or other happened three years ago was something I had heard from the mouths of Okami-san and Karios.

So here was once a place you could call a town without hesitation … huh. The buildings in the area around the Hunter Association are really nice too; I did think that this community was too big for about 100 people no matter how you looked at it, but I see, I get it now.

“That one year many of the citizens died in great numbers, and the ones left alive all left this place. The ones who remained were like Hunters and the merchant types with strong enterprising spirits, na. Here, there isn’t a single thing under taxes. The intentions on the ones who remained behind were, in this one year, without any timidity, to recover the damages that were lost.”

The people here are really strong. Just one resident alone is reliable.

“This time against the Jyasouma, that it was repulsed without any casualties got spread around, and the praises for the defense team were spread loudly; all of the people hoping to immigrate gathered, and that is how the current trend of prosperity came to be. We’re not just repairing the ruined buildings, we have plans to construct new residences and shops too.”

There are more and more money making opportunities! I wonder what new products and features I should do, though right now I shouldn’t be thinking about that.

“As people increase, various problems come up. For things related to food we’ve put our hopes on Hakkon, and because the shop keepers also understand there are large amounts of goods flowing in, so there are no worries there.”

Fumu fumu. This is probably the first time there was a stand in front of the Hunter Association too. Recently, cup ramen sales have been falling, so it’s about time I chose a new product. Maa, for that loss, the beverages have been selling well so the total sales haven’t changed though.

As expected, the veterans that have survived Japan’s widely diverse beverage industry have taste, sensation, and the ideas are new-like, so right now they’ll easily triumph over the drinks in this other world.

“Sorry, my story strayed a bit. Now then, we’re getting to the main part. Currently, what we believe to be the most pressing concern relates to the sex industry. We Bearfolk have a very slim desire in that regards as long as it’s not breeding season, but that’s not the case for Humans. Before the increase of people, it was a situation where the demand was supplied for.”

So this is where the talk was headed. No wonder Ramis was withdrawn.

That the Bear President was a race called the Bearfolk is also an important piece of information, but let’s leave that for right now.  U-n, I have a metal body so it looks like I have been freed from those ‘desires’, but I know the compulsion well.

“There’s also a hygienic problem that comes with that; if a disease began to be spread, then it would delay the reconstruction work. And so, because of that, we’d like to strengthen our control over this, but then other problems will spring up. I understand this is an absurd request, but Hakkon, do you not have any counter-measures?”

That really is an absurd proposal. U, u-n, a counter-measure against disease did come to mind. It’s just, I don’t know the state of this world very well, so the question is whether or not something similar to this exists or not.
Let’s just try to put one out, then see what his reaction is.

This is a box-shaped product, so if I don’t add the function it won’t work, huh? Uuuum <Boxed Product Support> should be fine? Fumu fumu, with this I can have the option for boxed snacks and cigarettes. The problem is, since I haven’t smoked a cigarette even once, I’ll have to give up on selling cigarettes.
I’ve also added the product, so let’s set it up.

“Hou, so you can switch the products to be all the same item like this. Fumu, it’s all this box. This is Hakkon’s plan?”

“Welcome.”

“Then, I will try buying them. It looks like there are three types, so I guess I’ll buy all of them. But for them to be 10 silver coins, it’s not cheap.”

Since one box is about 1,000 yen in Japan, I set it according to the price of the beverages, but if it’s too high then I’ll think about changing it.

“So I should open the box. There’s a small pouch with notch in it. Do I tear it from there and take out the contents?”

“Welcome.”

“Fumu, so it looks like I’m not wrong. This looks like it will be a little difficult to handle with my hands. That’s right, this is a good place to call that girl. Shirley, please come here.”

In response to the Bear President’s call, the single door set in the wall that was not alongside the corridor opened, and from there a single lady’s figure appeared.

In an evening dress that clings to the body with a slit going up past the hips, with every step you catch a glimpse of her captivatingly long, slender, porcelain-like legs. Both her shoulders are bared, and her breasts as well are daringly displayed in a cut down to her stomach; your eyes are drawn to the valley of her abundant chest.

To say she was an exhibit of the ideal body-style wouldn’t be an exaggeration, she’s a woman who would even incite jealousy in those of her own gender, and it’s not just her body. The facial features displayed up top won’t lose to anyone either.

Glossy black hair flowing down her back, eyes half-open with a somehow sleepy look, light red, moist lips together, all of it brings about a sublime seductiveness.
A, this person is related to that kind of business. She has an attraction to her that seems to declare that.

“Ara, so this should be Hakkon-san kashira. A pleasure to meet you; I’m Shirley. Thank you for you aid in this matter.”

Her smiling face is also seductive. If I didn’t have a vending machine as a body, I wouldn’t be able to meet her eyes with any decency. How her legs were placed when she sat on the sofa was somewhat; it’s like you should be able to see it, but you can’t see it, just barely, so you have to imagine it.

“This is a product that Hakkon suggested, but with these hands it will be difficult for me to handle it, so if you wouldn’t mind doing it instead.”

“Of course desuwa. This is a product for our sakes, after all. Tear here, I suppose … ara, this is, what a mysterious material desuwa. How it stretches and contracts is somehow amusing wa.”

I wonder what’s with this kind of immoral mood.

“There’s a slimy liquid sticking to one side, isn’t there? What is this used for?”

“That is, I have no idea. Oh yeah, there was a piece of paper in the box. Try reading it.”

“I will take a look suwa. A, so that’s what it is. There’s an illustration to help make it easier to understand.”

I wish she’d stop her bewitching smile. It feels like it will arouse some kind of malfunction in the vending machine.

“Oo, I think I understand. The ways this is supposed to be used.”

“Once this is equipped to that place on the gentleman, then it can be inserted into the lady’s private area. According to the types of boxes, the gentleman’s largeness can be supported desuwa. With just this thinness, it won’t get in the way of the action, and yet it also protects against diseases; what a splendid luxuriousness.”

As expected of a Pro. She figured out a condom in one go, huh? She’s not just putting on a show, she honestly seems delighted.

By the way, this is a digression, but you should know the SML sizes that the boxes have. I can’t set up any products other than the ones that I had bought while I was alive, so why can I assemble the three various sizes? Vanity and pride and reality are all I’m going to say. If you’re a man, then everyone has gone and tried it out in preparation for the real thing right … right?
Shirley went through the boxes and checked the sizes, quantities, and prices, taking notes and nodding lightly.

“We will definitely come purchase these. If you have any other products you can suggest, I would be willing to take a look.”

C, can’t be helped. If you say it like that, I guess I have no choice but to show them. M, maa, I also didn’t really buy too many adult-related products, so there aren’t that many products to put in order.

After that, somehow the business consultation was completed and Shirley-san, with undulating hips, left the President’s office. Her last words that she whispered, “If you were a man, then I would personally be your partner; what a shame desuwa,” were way sick.
But, when I reunited with Ramis,

“Are, Hakkon, your body is a little hot. Did something good happen?”

When I was told that I went entirely cold, worrying about if the heat insulation function was broken. Her sharp instincts can be good and bad; this was the first time I thought that.

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1. jyasouma – written with the kanji for “snake” “pair” and “evil/demon”. I did think about calling it an Evil Twin Serpent or whatever, but stringing words together to make a unique-sounding species works way better in Japanese than English, and in the end it won’t sound much different from “two-headed snake”. Species of snakes are usually called something other than “such and such snake” anyway (like a viper, or cobra or something), so it’s not too weird to just keep it as jyasouma, I think.

<T/n: I feel like I missed something. I didn’t realize the president was ACTUALLY a bear. o.0
I don’t know how embarrassing the second half of this chapter is just reading, but there was definitely some secondhand embarrassment while translating. But I did my best and tried not to do any extra translator censorship. (tbh, trying to keep it as verbatim as possible is what probably made it more embarrassing.)
And no, the guys trying to rob him were not mentioned again. I kept thinking I was missing a chapter, but this is the next one. Either he ate them, or it just wasn’t worth mentioning because they were driven off easily.>