VendM 030: Expedition and Bargaining

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Jidou Hanbaiki ni Umarekawatta ore wa Meikyuu o Samayou
Author: Hiru Kuma

Expedition and Bargaining

“It’s fine if it’s after winter passes, but do you guys have any interest in joining us on an expedition?”

At Leader Keryoil’s sudden request, I take a single breath and,

“Too bad.”

Is how I responded. That request was basically what I expected, so there was no need to be confused.

If I go, that means Ramis will get dragged along too as part of a set. Making the decision all on my own isn’t a good circumstance. I’ll leave her decision to herself.

“Like always, you give an immediate answer, Hakkon. Naa, could it be, you don’t like me?”


“You … if you treat your frequent customers well, they’ll keep coming, daze. And also, I didn’t really want to say it, but when they were going to go ahead and rescue you, we volunteered, though, na-. And it’s not like we’re saying you should return the favor, though, but when we rescued Hakkon, some of my brigade members became casualties, though, na-. Oh no, it’s not like we’re expecting you to do this because of that; that’s totally not it at all, though -.”

Certainly, as the Leader says, I do owe the Fools of Whimsy Brigade. I’ll acknowledge that over and over, but I’m no good with Leader Keryoil’s shady demeanor. It’s purely speculation, but he feels like someone who can betray others with a smile, this person.

But you know, what this opponent has said is completely true. Thanks to the Fools of Whimsy Brigade lending their strength, they were able to easily destroy the thief band.


“O, you’re beginning to open your heart up a little. Maa, this is something we should discuss with Ramis too, na. We’ve got time until the snow melts. Think about it at your leisure.”

So saying, Leader Keryoil stood. There’s no meaning for me to mull it over here and there in my head. Whatever Ramis wants to do, that’s what we’ll do.

-tte, right now is the brawl with Chain Restaurant. That night has advanced, and it looks like each store is closing for the night. If you compare it to several days prior, no matter which store, I think all of them had three times the customers entering, even guessing on the light side. It’s probably fine to say it’s a great success. If we can keep this up for two weeks, there’s hope.

Let’s just forget about the Leader’s talk for now; I need to concentrate.

From there, fame called upon fame, and every single day the customers increased; even after two weeks had passed, most of the customers came back.

These several days, the days where snow fell from dusk through the evening were many; since it’s closer than the residential areas, the Hunters and people who were trying to keep warm around the food and drink stalls increased, just about.

Once Chain Restaurant had been open for a month, they quickly and easily withdrew from Seiryu Lake Level’s community. This resolute way of knowing when to quit is very much like a large chain store, but it’s fitting. Honestly, it feels like we dodged a bullet.1

Though, since the shopkeepers are pleased, it’s not like I’m displeased. With such a splendid retreat, I doubt that there’s a hidden agenda to it. Whatever the case, we are now facing spring; once we enter the season of the Hunters’ activities, the uneasiness will probably disappear.

Oh, that’s right, once it becomes spring, although I said I didn’t want to accompany the Fools of Whimsy Brigade on their expedition in response to the invitation, the result of discussing it with Ramis is that we’ll take it.

Their expedition is a round-trip that will take two weeks regardless of how it turns out; the object is to scout out a certain monster, as well as subjugation if they are able to.

When we met up to talk about deciding whether to join up, it was Ramis, me, and Hyurumi as well. Since the subject is something you don’t want to let people hear, I intruded into the tent that the two childhood friends are borrowing.

“Speaking of the Fools of Whimsy Brigade, they super famous. And they be asking you to join them; it’s a happy thing, but … ‘s it really ok?”

U-n, Leader-san said if I’m afraid to fight, then it’s ok if I just carry Hakkon, but I want to fight. It’s not like I like fighting, but if I keep passing every time, I’ll never get stronger, so.”

Clenching her fist tightly, Ramis’ side-profile became very serious compared to her usual face, so it was a little bit scary.

I’m close to her, so even if she keeps her strong ambitions to herself, I understand just by looking. As for why she wants to get stronger, I understand the origin is the story Hyurumi told me about what happened to their hometown, but doing it just because of that …

“Ramis. You, you’re really – – you want to get revenge?”

Un. If I don’t kill that guy who attacked our village that day, I’ll never be able to forgive myself-!”

For a dangerous word like ‘kill’ to come flying from Ramis’ mouth, the parts inside me raised up a strange noise. At the time when I was abducted her anger was also exposed, but seeing her eyes filled with murderous intent, it’s like my heat insulation effect was broken.
Since the story was that monsters destroyed the village, “that guy” must be the monsters’ chief, I guess.

“So that means Ramis saw him, that dude controlling the monsters.”

“That guy was, that man was, while controlling the monsters, he was smiling! When he killed Ma and Pa, like he was having fun, he was laughing-!”

Slamming her fist down, she drilled a hole into the ground; it was buried up to the wrist.

So the reason she continued to do the Hunter business she wasn’t suited for has come to the surface at last. It’s not like revenge will bring the dead people back, and there are probably people who’d say it’s a futile deed.

I’m not in a position to be able to say such pretty words, since I’ve never gone through such an experience. If I were to say something naive, I’d like her to throw away those savage thoughts and just continue to do the work of a Hunter.

But you know, the only person who understands her feelings is the person herself. I can sympathize with her, but fully comprehending it is something I can’t do. Then, until her intent runs out, I want to support her. For that reason, I, as a vending machine, have no intentions of slacking off on my assistance.

“Then, whatever I gots to say is useless. If it’s the Fools of Whimsy Brigade, I ain’t interacted with them myself, so I got no choice but to trust them. And now, you got a trusty pal with ya.”

With her mouth taking the shape of a smile, in response to Hyurumi’s flirtatious glance, I responded “Welcome” with all my heart. Although it’s a recording, so I have my doubts to whether the feeling was transmitted.

“Thanks for worrying, Hyurumi. Hakkon too, thank you, na.”

Ashamed of losing her cool, she shyly scratched her head. I can keep up a <Barrier> limited to her stature to protect her, but I probably won’t be able to do anything else to help in a fight.

Since I absorbed a good portion of the coins stashed away by the thief gang, my points have become something amazing, but it’s not to the degree I can learn another Divine Blessing. If, just it, I had just enough points, even then I’d like to have some more for buffer, since you never know what could happen. That’s what’s been ingrained into my body from the previous abduction incident.

If I was going to get an ability, it’d probably be enough for one Function. There’s a lot of candidates, but the point consumption isn’t normal, so I haven’t been able to come to a decision. After pouring in several tens of thousands of points, if it doesn’t match up to my expectations, I’d be so down that I wouldn’t be able to come back for quite a while.

“Whoo, whoo, let’s stop thinking about it. And it’s not spring yet, so we gots lotsa time. Or like, it’s late so let’s sleep. You got rubble removal work waiting for you tomorrow, starting from the morning, right?”

Un. Ok, then let’s sleep! A, Hakkon, it’s ok if you sleep in the tent here today, right?”

“To sleep with us two beauties is the best, right?”

It certainly is the best, but I don’t have a flesh and blood body. There’s no chance of making ‘mistakes’.

Looking the tent over again, even though I take up a lot of space, I’m not a hindrance, the tent is that spacious. In the center portion of the round tent is a single support stuck in the ceiling portion; it’ quite steadfast and proper for people to live in.

Inside are wardrobes and beds, two each. A large, wooden table with a sturdy-looking tabletop. And then there are small tools and magic tool-looking parts scattered around. Those are without a doubt Hyurumi’s.

For two girls living together, it’s a stark room, but on top of the table a carnation was left, just barely turning it a little girl-ish. I’m really glad I gave it to her.

“A, since Hakkon gave it to me, I’m taking good care of the flower, ne.”

Hee, so you gave only Ramis something. A-, even though it was my birthday three days ago na-. That’s right, this year I didn’t get nothing, naa-“

Aa-! Sorry, I completely forgot. Tomorrow, let’s go eat something really good, okay?”

“Thankya, Ramis. So then, ain’t Hakkon gonna do something?”

She’s probably half-joking, but her knowledge has helped me out a lot, and from here on I’d like her to continue lending me her strength. A product that would suit her; actually, I’ve already decided what it would be.

It’s just, in order to avoid other people catching on getting it to get up to no good, I’ve been waiting for the chance to give it to her so surrounding people won’t notice. And so, this situation is just perfect.

“Juuuuuust kidding. It’s a joke, so don’t take it … ooooooo-! Th,this is-!”

Hyurumi grabbed the me who changed into a red and white, long and narrow body almost as if she was hugging me. The pupils of her eyes were blazing, and from her mouth was repeated, raspy breaths.
Your eyes are terrifying, your eyes are terrifying! I thought she was going to bite me, that’s how her reaction looks.

“On the other side of the glass there’s a lot of tools, ne. A, it’s all stuff Hyurumi just loves.”

Right, this time I’m a small tools vending machine. The items are; safety glasses, mask, tape measure, gloves, an 8-setting screw driver, and a water-repellant nylon jacket.

It’s a vending machine that specializes in small tools, so the quality is also good, and for the gloves, they have antibacterial and anti-odor treatment, are processed to allow air-ventilation, and have anti-slip added. When Hyurumi saw them, it was like she was going to grow an extra arm to grab them, that’s how badly she wanted such a prize.

“H, how much is the price?! Ramis, if I don’t got enough, lend some to me!”

“E, a, un.”

Her eyes drawing close to being bloodshot, Hyurumi’s intensity was overpowering. I understand that these types of items would sell with the craftsmen, but I’m troubled over where to draw the line when it comes to producing an outbreak of technology. That’s why, as a general rule, I only deal with things that will be consumed with nothing left.
I believe Hyurumi won’t misuse them, so that’s why I’m not reluctant to offer them to her.
She’s counting all the money she has on hand, but this time it’s supposed to be a birthday present, so I have no intentions on taking a fee.

I dropped all the products together, and she lifted everything to the sky, leaking out a “Oooooooooo!” A, Ramis backed up a little.2

“Hakkon, is this seriously ok, to give them to me-!”


“Thanks, I love you-!”

Hyurumi, overwhelmed with emotions, kissed my glass, then retreated and lined up the small tools on the desk to try them out … –tte, that surprised me-. To think she even kissed me. At times like these, not having a sense of feeling is tough, na. M,maa, it’s not a bad atmosphere, though.

“Hakkon, you look happy…”

Exactly what are you trying to say, Ramis-san? And exactly why are you glaring at me with narrowed eyes, I wonder?


Even when she’s puffing out her cheeks and pouting, her face is still quite cute, or like, this isn’t the time for that.

After that, in order to bring back Ramis’ good humor, I gave her this and that of products that she’d like, but she was still pouty for an entire day.

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  1. of course it doesn’t actually say bullet. The literal is “Feels like we dodge what we would have taken on”
  2. A subtle way of saying, Ramis was getting a li-ttle creeped out by Hyurumi’s actions. “took some distance” is often used in this way in Japanese.

<T/n: Thanks ‘someone’ for your donation!
Hello sassypants vending machine … it’s been a while since he’s been so blatantly cheeky with someone. And I love that Keryoil’s never actually done anything to make Hakkon dislike him. Hakkon just … doesn’t like him just because.
Also, because the kana indicates “Rammis” as opposed to “Ramis”, I’ve been typing it out as Rammis a lot. I try to keep it the same as the prev translator (and it looks cuter as Ramis), but my typing fingers can … have a mind of their own. Just letting you know, if I accidentally left a Rammis in somewhere, it’s Ramis. >


      1. Looking closely, it’s actually more of an inventory control tool than a traditional vending machine… In any event, you shouldn’t be able to find it on the streets… 🤔


    1. They exist in the west, mainly used to monitor and dispense tool inventory in company, but the key component for a commercial one (like any vending machine) would be location. A hardware store could set one up outside to sell common stuff (i.e. the stuff listed in the story) during late nights.


    2. ofcouse not big tool but small one like pocket knife or drill or some small to medium size i think i saw it some where??


  1. Thanks for the chapter.

    Doing a google search of “unusual vending machines” will get you a lot of links to articles with odd ones.

    Ones I found interesting were the rice and canned bread. So many odd types out there.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. so basically your telling me he could of go robot vending machine and walked for a good while now. unless thats what the transformation ability does…


  2. I just remembered, in Japan there is a vending machine for cars…
    I hope you guys know what I am talking about where this leads to


  3. lol, a vending machine with a harem. Well, not harem… Yet. And how the hell was Ramis able to tell that hakkon was happy ∑( ̄□ ̄;)? The part in which she was jelly was cute though. Also, thanks for the chapter (~_^).


  4. omg… reading this guys story really make me into vending machine more now… though i’ve got a bit interest in it before, i can see why he into hardcore vending machine otaku.
    there’s way to much varity for a single vending machine huh


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