VendM 032: Spring is Coming

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Jidou Hanbaiki ni Umarekawatta ore wa Meikyuu o Samayou
Author: Hiru Kuma

Spring is Coming

“Karios-san, your collar is crooked.”

“O,ou, thanks. I think I’m going to be coming home late, so even though it’ll be a bit lonely, don’t cry.”

“Ok. I’ll be waiting for you with the stew you like with a lot of eggs in it. Really, REALLY try not to get hurt.”

“It hurts so bad to leave you behind, that it feels like my body’s being torn in two … but this is work. Sorry.”

“Yes, I don’t want to be apart from you either. But I also don’t want to be a hindrance in your work. I’ll swallow my tears – -“

They just don’t cut it out. Day in and day out, everyday this foolish looking couple mess around in front of the vending machine.

Isn’t his partner, Gols, putting his hand to his forehead like it hurts? Since the two of them guard the gate often, I bet he has to listen to the meandering love stories. Poor guy.

“Munami-san, today’s beautiful too, isn’t it? Recently the sun’s rays have gotten warm, it’s the perfect weather for a walk.”

“Isn’t it? Is your shop going to be okay today?”

And another troublesome group has come. The shopkeeper young man and Munami, who calls herself the inn’s poster girl. This group hasn’t quite gotten to the dating stage, but since Munami isn’t talking to him like she does to guests, more like talking to a friend, compared to before, they’ve gotten considerably closer.

And, for some reason, the full set starts chatting in front of me. Haa, just when I was thinking that the temperature’s been rising so spring’s about to come, I’ve become a gathering place for people with their “spring” in full-bloom.1

Ah, it’s spring, ne. But it’s not like things will settle down with that. Pretty soon it’s going to be the season where Hunters get lively. That’s right, there’s the promise Ramis made to participate in the Fools of Whimsy Brigade’s expedition – –

“Hakkon, are you in good shape?”

“Ou, lookin’ like it’s selling well today too. It be warm today, so let’s go with that cold, bubbly stuff.”

Well speak of the devil. Ramis and Hyurumi have come.

The couples, like always, have disappeared somewhere before I know it. It’s fine if they’re getting along, but seriously, I wish they’d go somewhere else. I don’t have a flesh and blood body, so I have nothing to do with love affairs.
It’s not like I’m j,jealous or something. This time, in honor of their relationships, I’ll give them a present of hot soda.

“Hakkon, we’re leaving tomorrow, so are you going to be ok?”


I’ve known about it way ahead of time, so I don’t really have an excuse to decline.

It’s not like I’m not worried, but this girl yearns to get stronger. She and I have a one-body-one-mind kind of relationship. We can only help each other by compensating for the other’s weak points.

Ah, well, I said it so nicely, but I’m the one who has the most deficiencies. Since I don’t have hands or feet, nee. I’m always being taken care of by her.

“That so, it be tomorrow, huh? The thing you was talking about, going with the Fools of Whimsy Brigade.”

“Yeah, Hyurumi. Uum, I think, it’s surveying the situation with the gakujinma (alligator-men monsters).

“Gakujinma. So one branch of the Seiryu Lake level’s big three, huh?”

As Hyurumi said, the monsters that inhabit this level are largely split into three groups. The frog-men are the kaerujinma. The one who attacked the community, the jyasouma. And the ones who walk on two legs, not the lizard-kin, but the alligator-men, gakujinma.

Well, it’s basically a frog, snake, and alligator level. When the frogs and snake came out, once I found out about the 3 types I thought that the other type would be a slug, but it was an alligator.
Although now that I think about it, a slug would be kind of weird in the wetlands.

“Kaerujinma and jyasouma were defeated, so we’re investigating whether the gyakujinma will increase too much. Subjugating them is secondary; the main thing is figuring out how much of a threat they are.”

Two of the three major threats took a lot of damage, so now we’re investigating the alligators’ area to see if they’ve increased to much, and if they have, then we’ll make plans to subjugate them.

The level has an ecosystem, and if it’s recklessly destroyed then some sort of phenomenon occurring is expected; it seems like the big disaster three years ago was also the result of the monsters’ power balance being destroyed.

“Well yeah, if we don’t look into it now, it’ll get nasty, na. Mr kaerujinmas came out, and that big ass jyasouma even showed up is what they said. There could be something fishy going on, on this level … Ramis, if it gets seriously bad, you gotta pull out.”

“Ok. If it gets too dangerous, I’ll run away with Hakkon. Ri~ght?”


In order to be able to put up Barrier at any time, I have to remember to be vigilant at all times while on the expedition.

If I was normal, there would be all sorts of preparations I’d have to make, but I don’t really have to do anything in particular. I guess just taking a look at new products and trying to see if they’d fit the situation is about all I have to do. A-, I need to sell ingredients in bulk to the food stalls.

And then, I’ll sell a lot of beverages cheap at Munami’s temporary eatery. I’m going to be gone from the community for a while, so I need to make it so the regular customers can replenish themselves.

Since it’s widely known throughout the community that I’ll be leaving with the Fools of Whimsy Brigade for a while, customers kept coming late into the night, and quite a few of them were stocking up.

The next morning, Ramis and Hyurumi are taking their breakfast next to me.

Ramis is participating in the expedition so I understand why she’s got leather armor and boots on, but other than that she only has a small bag swinging and that’s it. As well as a wooden rack with straps to carry me.

For food there’s me, so there’s no problem, and for light, I light up, so that’s also fine. When sleeping, I can put my heating function to work, so whether it needs to be hot or cold, I can preserve a comfortable temperature. I can even put out a bath towel.

With that, I have most things accounted for. And then, since she has to carry me, she can’t bring much other large luggage. Most of the necessary things are going to be prepared by the Fools of Whimsy Brigade, so there’s no need to worry about it too much, huh?

“Yo-. Ramis, Hakkon. All set?”

Appearing along with his voice and trademark ten gallon hat slanted on his brow is a man with a scraggly beard, Leader Keryoil. Next to him is the blue-haired vice leader, Filmina-san.

“Good morning everyone. As long as there are not any problems, there should be a luggage carriage waiting at the gate.”

“Okaaaay. We’re ready. Hakkon, let’s go. Heave ho-!”

Like always, she lightly carries me, and follows behind the Leader and Vice-Leader. We were always inside the community during winter, so it’s been a while since we’ve gone outside. Recently, rather than saying it’s another world, it feels like we’re shooting a fantasy movie.

During winter the people who carry dangerous-looking things had become few and the simply dressed people had increased, so I’d forget that I was in another world from time to time. Maa, the Bear President and other animal-faced people would show up from time to time, so I’d get pulled back to reality, though.

In this world the beastkin aren’t the fancy kind with just cat ears and tail, they’re the ones with the face of the animal. The frog-men are like that too, but they’re the type where only the skeleton is kind of like a human.

“Living in these walls be constraining, na. If ya don’t take a breath outside, you’ll go crazy.”


I replied, but I only just now realized that Hyurumi was lined up walking next to us. So she’s seeing us off.

“That over there’s the luggage cart the Whimsy Brigade is using.”

In the direction Hyurumi stabbed her finger is a huge luggage cart pulled by a unasusu. It’s pulled up a bit in front of the gate, and next to it are Karios and Gols, as well as the Brigade member Hunters, idly chatting.

“O-, Ramis, Hakkon. So you’ve been added to come. A, hang on. Let me stockpile a few more.”

“I’m going to buy some too.”

Since I won’t see you for a while, I recommend buying and stocking up now.

Since they’re buying in bulk, I tampered with the winning chance of the lottery slots, for Gols. Recently the riajuu appeals have been annoying, but it’s not like I’m favoring him.

“A-, Leader-san brought you guys, ne. Ramis-san, Hakkon-san, good to have you-.”

“Ou, we welcome you two fine people … one person and one box? Good to have you-“

“Good to have you, good to have you-“

This Brigade seems to get along with each other really well; they do tentatively have a hierarchy, but basically everyone’s pretty overly familiar with each other. All the members of the Fools of Whimsy Brigade are the Leader, Vice Leader, and all the Hunter-like girl who was there when we were subjugating the frog-men. As well as two young men, twins who get along well.

“Alri-ght, let’s go. Hurry up and get ready.”

Urging the twins who were relaxing within the canopied luggage area, Leader Keryoil kicked at the wheel. The twins switched to the driver’s seat, and the Leader and Vice Leader boarded the luggage area.

“Ramis and Hakkon climb in as well.”

“No. I’ll run there like this! That way I’ll get some training. And I think if I put Hakkon on, the unasusu will have a hard time.”

Maa, I’m about the weight of several adults, na. Once everyone gets on, it might be a big burden.

“’kay, then I’ll get on instead.”

So saying, the Hyurumi who should have only been here to see us off hopped on. Wait, eeee-

“E, Hyurumi’s coming too?”

Ousu. If it’s monster ecology examination, it be better to have someone with lots of knowledge, right? I properly took the commission from the Bear President.”

So you didn’t say anything just to surprise us, huh? Come to think of it, she wasn’t exactly acting like she was all that worried.

Their name is, well, that, but the Fools of Whimsy Brigade is definitely good at what they do, enough to be used as an escort, so I guess even the combat-less Hyurumi will be fine, but I don’t really know much about this world where monsters exist.

When the monsters get near you’ll raise a defense, but if you go by the standard, removing Ramis, typically you’d hide in the luggage area.

Adventuring, huh … I’ve been reincarnated as a vending machine in another world, and should only live out the rest of my life just selling items, but to think that I can go exploring a labyrinth like this.
Life – – of a vending machine’s that is, is something you can’t predict.2
While being shaken on Ramis’ back, as she runs at the same speed as the luggage cart, I’m deeply moved as I watch the community receding into the distance.

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  1. Spring can refer to love, specifically the mutual, early stages of love where you can only see each other’s good points, and being a couple is the best thing ever-! … Something like that?
  2. literally “Jinsei (a human’s life) – jidou hanbaiki sei (a vending machine’s life)”

<T/n: Thank you Meosua for your donation!
I purposefully left the frog/snake/alligator terms like that because, despite the kanji, Hakkon does make it a point to speak of them in different terms than the residents of the other world.
I am going to start speeding up a little now~ … I think.>



  1. “Ou, lookin’ like it’s selling well today too. It be warm today, so let’s go with that cold, bubbly stuff.”
    lol, “It be warm today”, what is she, a pirate?

    Mr kaerujinmas came out, and that big ass jyasouma even showed up is what they said.
    I think Kaerujinma-sans would sound better

    All the members of the Fools of Whimsy Brigade are the Leader, Vice Leader, and all the Hunter-like girl who was there when we were subjugating the frog-men.

    good job and thank you, for some reason my symbol changed, hmmm…


  2. Meatbun Delivery~
    Thank you for the chapter ( ●w●)

    “For food there’s me, so there’s no problem, and for light, I light up, so that’s also fine. When sleeping, I can put my heating function to work, so whether it needs to be hot or cold, I can preserve a comfortable temperature. I can even put out a bath towel.”
    😍 i think i’m in love~

    Liked by 1 person

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