VendM 033: Companion for the Journey

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Jidou Hanbaiki ni Umarekawatta ore wa Meikyuu o Samayou
Author: Hiru Kuma

Companion for the Journey

I’m staring at the sky over the meadow with clouds floating over it here and there, but I’m being transported by a girl … if you think about it too deeply, you’ll lose. About three hours have passed since we departed early in the morning, so for the moment we are taking a short break.

The large unasusu still seems to have more than enough strength, and Ramis, who ran alongside it, also doesn’t show any weariness in her actions. It’s not the first time I’ve thought it, but what an outrageous physical ability this girl has.

So it’s kind of like why even take a break, but it seems to be a toilet break. The proportion of ladies in this line-up is significant, so the places you can do your business and the timing are problems. It’s not like they can just stand off on the side and do their ‘little’ business like guys can.

Although it’s not an issue in a game, it’s an issue in real-life, huh? Are, come to think of it, there’s THAT for this kind of situation, na.

Looking down the Functions column, I select THAT, and by consuming Points I acquire it. And then, I immediately change to use it.

I’ve already been left behind next to the cart, but the twins and the hunter-like girls who watched me change form dropped their mouths wide-open. So these people hadn’t seen this before.

Are, Hakkon be showing us some function again. N? What the, there’s something attached next to him, zo.”

Like Hyurumi said, this time I didn’t change my main body but a new object has made its appearance next to me. It’s a long and narrow locker-like object, with a height exactly the same as me.

The bottom half is a trash can. The top half has a lid inserted, and if you undo it, inside is a folded up chair, a cardboard box, and a long, thin piece of cardboard stowed in it.

“What is this? If Hakkon takes it out with this kind of timing, this gotta have some meaning to it.”


“For now, it ok to open it and take stuff out?”


As Hyurumi took out the contents without any hesitation, Ramis and the Fools of Whimsy Brigade crowded around and peeped over here with great interest.

“This is, a collapsible chair, huh? But how come there a gaping hole where you sit? This box made of this weird-ass feeling material, inside there’s some mysterious paper? It’s probably ok to open it, na.”


“I’m just gonna do what I want, so if I shouldn’t, just stop me. ‘Kay then, this tough paper is actually a bag.”

Nee, Hyurumi. Doesn’t that bag look like it would fit through that hole in the chair perfectly?”

Nnn-, o-. Perfect fit. Good going, Ramis. Then, this other thin box. Open this as well … inside is a transparent bag, and in that is … uooo-

When took it out, with a pop sound, it expanded out three times as long. That’s a folded up tent, a convenient item that you just need to spread out and it opens.

“Th,that freaked me out. It just took on a pre-set shape; if I just touch it a bit, it’ll go back to its former shape? It might be similar to a magic tool.”

Like her curiosity overtook her fright, she was bent over, somehow spreading out the little tent.

“It’s some sort of tent that one person can set up by himself. Put the chair with the hole in it and the bag inside … Oi oi, don’t tell me, this a toilet!?”

As Hyurumi shouted, the color of the womens’ eyes changed.

That’s right, this is an emergency service installed next to the vending machine, a simple emergency toilet. With the great repeated disasters in the current years, toilets have become a serious issue. For that, the vending machine manufacturers installed a service box with a simple toilet inside.

They’re still few in number, but I sincerely wanted to support these prepared manufacturers, so when I find one I’ll always buy something.

“When you close the panel of the little tent, there be no chance of people seeing you ‘neither. And after you use the bag, you can close it up and the smell will be contained too.”

“A,are you serious-!?”

The Vice-Leader Filmina-san raised a rare yell and approached Hyurumi, who was still explaining.

“Y,yeah. I’m probably not mistaken. Inside the bag there’s stuff in the bottom that gives off a scent, and it seems to be something to combat the smell of piss. Naa, Hakkon.”


“There ya go, that’s what it is.”

The women whose eyes changed color swarmed the simple toilet in a ‘me first’ fashion. First, Hyurumi tested it out to see how it worked, and when she emerged with a satisfied face, the women all lined up to use it.

“Hakkon. This is seriously wicked awesome. This be something that Hunters would pull out gold coins for, y’know?”

It looks like the womens’ toilet situation was even more serious than I thought. Since this is an emergency service, it doesn’t take money.

Maa, afterwards, the Hunters who used the toilet bought beverages from me in gratitude, so it’s fine.

“What do you think? Because I solicited Hakkon, you can use such a convenient toilet. Saa, it’s fine to praise your great Leader more!”

“Hakkon’s the amazing one; it has nothing to do with Leader.”

Filmina-san cut him off coldly over her shoulder; the back of Leader as he walked away looked a little forlorn.

After the great success of the simple toilet, they took the bag and buried it in a hole. The things that come from the products have the possibility of disappearing, so when thinking about ground contamination, if the bag disappears, the waste will just return to the earth, probably.

The simple toilet was folded up and stored in the cart. Since the Emergency Set consumed points, it won’t disappear so I’ll let them have it. Although I’ll retrieve it after the expedition is over.

“Let’s take an early lunch next.”

Alright, now it’s time for the real job. I’ve sneakily lined up products at half the price I sell them for in the community. Normally, in this type of situation you would sell them at a higher price, but since the Fools of Whimsy Brigade promised me payment before, I’m doing this as a favor for good publicity for the next time Ramis does Hunter activites.

“This compacted and grilled cereal is tastyyy.”

“O, seriously. This strongly-seasoned pasta is also real good.”

The guy twins are getting along and splitting the food. One of them has red hair, and the other has white hair. In my head, I’m going to call them the Red-White Combo.1 By the way, people call them just like that, “Red” and “White”.

“Haaa, to be able to enjoy such great food while on an expedition, I’m so happy and grateful.”

The archer girl who has hair short enough to see her neck, so that you could mistake her for a boy at a glance, raised her high-pitched, anime moe-character voice.

Takoyaki, yakisoba, cup ramen, kara’age2, and a 2 litre of cola are placed — no, were placed in front of her. All of the contents within have disappeared. She’s a small-sized woman, but she completely demolished all of that by herself. Her manner of eating is as frightening as an eating-contest champion’s.

“Shui is a big eater as always. Thanks to Hakkon-san, we don’t have to worry about how much food we have remaining this time.”

With one finger toying with her blue, wavy hair, Vice-Leader Filmina lets out a sigh.
Just bringing a big eater like this along for a long-term expedition, you’ll run out of food reserves immediately.

“You mean this time you won’t make us go out to catch a monster to roast whole-!?”

“Aa, what a relief … seriously, what a relief.”

The Red-White twins are so happy they’re hugging each other. So previously they’ve had to go catch a monster to eat each time, huh? Snake seems like it could be tasty, but I wonder how frog people would be. Come to think of it, the first time I met Ramis, it seems she had been catching frog people to eat.

So the inhabitants of this other world pretty much don’t have any aversion to eating monsters. Normally, when out of civilization, Hunter cooking is pretty much just canned goods with salt and herbs, so I can understand the emotional delight from having vending machine food.

With the simple toilet, temporarily accompanying a Hunter Team and doing business seems like I can rake in quite some profits. And since she’s here as help to carry the vending machine me, the possibilities of Ramis getting hurt decreases.

But, if you’re thinking about safety, it would be best to attach ourselves to a prominent brigade like this Fools of Whimsy Brigade, but … u-n. I can debate about it in my head all I want, but the decision lies with Ramis. I don’t even have one piece of advice, but through this time’s expedition, I’ll examine this brigade.

I’ve made this decision and hidden it inside myself, but right now, there’s nothing in particular about them. After the break we resume our pace; the occasional frog person and small, though adult-sized, twin-headed snake are so far away that they just shoot arrows or water magic at them.

Aside from that, once in a while the Leader lying on top of the canopy will throw a knife, and a monster will sprout a knife in its head before falling over.

They’re definitely in a different class. I understand the young Hunters’ admiration. I was there while they fought the King Frogman, and in the situations where I had time to observe them, I unconsciously let out a sigh of admiration.
Here where the opponents don’t even get close, the close-combat twins and Ramis don’t get a chance to show off.

“Hakkon. I wonder if it’s okay for me not to do anything. Do you think it’d be ok to throw rocks?”

Throwing rocks, huh. Fundamentally it’s clumsy, but it makes proper use that super-human strength, na. I wonder if I have any good that’s suitable for throwing.

If you wrap a chain around me and spin me around, it would deal quite the heavy damage, but Ramis definitely won’t go for it. U-n, throwing weapons, huh? How about an old, nostalgic, glass-bottled juice? If it’s that, then it has the right weight and hardness, and I can have some hopes to its might. Its size is also hand, so it should make throwing easy.
In order to try it out, I stock the glass-bottled juice and then tried dropping one.

Right now I’m being carried on her back while she’s facing forward, so with an impossible posture that looks like her arm stretched out to grab it, Ramis somehow managed to extract it while walking.

N? This is that fizzy poppy juice, ne. Are, it’s in something different, it’s harder.”

“It so you can throw it, ain’t it?”

Popping her face out of the cart, Hyurumi made that suggestion.

Reaching an understanding, Ramis pon clapped her hands and gave a great nod. With perfect timing, a frogman appeared up ahead, and with the glass-bottled juice in hand, she wielded it and threw it.
It went flying off in the wrong direction, and the glass-bottled juice disappeared into the brush; the frog man gave an amazed look and ducked.

Urgh, how frustratiiing.”

She really does have way more strength than she knows what to do with it. So she does have the possibility of throwing, but her precision leaves something to be desired, is what it boils down to. It’s almost like it would be more likely to hit if I threw it.

Maa, right after, the frogman was easily shot through the crown of his head and defeated. It looks like Ramis won’t get to show off for a while.

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  1. Kouhaku – referring to festive colors both red and white. Red is aka, white is shiro, but kouhaku is red-and-white together, like saying, “That flag is red (aka), that flag is white (shiro), and that flag is red-and-white (kouhaku).”
    The joke(?) is that he’s simplifying them from 2 people to 1 entity. Yeah, not something that goes well into translation.
  2. takoyaki – balls of salty batter with octopus bits grilled
    yakisoba – thin buckwheat noodles stir-fried with veggies and meat of various sorts in soy-sauce-based sauce
    kara’age – bits of chicken, breaded and fried, with a soy-sauce-based marinade

<T/n: Thank you Skirie for your donation!>


      1. You have no idea how nervous this was making me while I was translating it, until they finally revealed the “simple toilet”.
        I had no idea where they were going to go with it.


  1. You know, with all the types of food Hakkon distributes, I’m starting to think the entire world will perish from MSG poisoning one day. Hakkon = Demon Lord.


  2. Meatbun delivery~
    Thank you for the chapter ( ●w●)

    *suddenly got hit by a bottled juice and rolls for a few kilometer before stopping* Ouch..
    Q_Q who threw that? *pout*
    *see the bottled juice* uuu… for that i’ll drink it all without reserve!
    *drinks juice*


  3. I am curious what kind of body he will get when he has enough point to get a human body, and what is ramis reaction to see that hakon actually a man


  4. The guy twins are getting along and splitting the food. One of them has red hair, and the other has white hair. In my head, I’m going to call them “Kouhaku(red and white)”. By the way, people call them just like that, “Red” and “White”.
    how about something like that?

    good job and thank you


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