Jidou Hanbaiki ni Umarekawatta ore wa Meikyuu o Samayou
Author: Hiru Kuma
A New Power
From the Divine Gifts that required me to get 1 million points, the necessary abilities are, oh, right, first let’s organize them.
The sword related and hand-to-hand combat ones, and all the ones I can’t use because I don’t have hands or feet to use them are out of the question.
For fire magic, water magic, and all those magic related abilities, I don’t have mana, so they’re excluded.
For the ones that are left, let’s analyze them carefully on whether they’re useful abilities for a vending machine. First of all is this one.
《Telekinesis》, or PK1, you could say; it’s the psychic power to be able to move something without touching it, na. Let’s look at the description.
《It is possible to manipulate any body within a one meter radius around yourself. However, it is restricted by weight and is limited to products only.》
A radius of one meter is, maa, it’s usable. Just that much is enough to make me grateful. However, why is it limited to products? But, if I have this ability, I’ll have the possibility of teaching people how to use the products. This is a possible selection. Then, let’s look at the next one.
《You can deliver your inner thoughts to any person within a one meter radius around yourself.》
This is actually the Divine Gift I’ve been aiming for the most. If I have this, then it’s possible for Ramis and me to have a conversation. The radius is small, but even so, having the ability to make my intentions understood is huge.
《It is possible to move anywhere within a one meter radius of yourself instantly.》
The average guy would call it teleportation. But I wonder why the effective radius is limited to one meter. But even if you say I can’t move more than one meter, I would get my hands on a way to move around as a vending machine.
These three are strong contenders. However, that’s only if they’re abilities that work the way I imagine. Like Barrier, there’s the possibility that these consume points to use.
If that’s the case, then I’ll have to consider the consumption too. If Ramis was here then I’d choose Telepathy without question. However, I’m a lone person – -lone box, all himself in this maze. I hesitate to choose it in this situation.
Instant Transition as well, in this huge maze, even if I get the ability to move by one meter, I feel like it would be a pitiful endeavor. Even if there’s the possibility of activating it repeatedly, and even if there’s the possibility of moving in the air, there’s no way there isn’t a downside, so I’m suspicious.
It seems that Telekinesis is the number one Divine Gift for a vending machine, na. If I’m able to manipulate my products, then the things that I can do greatly increase in scope. This is the most suitable-ish one, but there’s no need to get it all in a hurry. I can’t waste 1 million points.
Come to think of it, with just this many points, can’t I choose something from the Functions too? I thought that I probably wouldn’t able to take any Functions that cost over a 100 thousand, so I haven’t looked for the most part.
Maa, I think I’ve pretty much decided on a Divine Gift, but lets take a look at the Functions – – e, there’s something like this?
《Vending Machine Rank Up》
What is this, these words that make a vending machine maniac’s soul sway? No, wait. Rather than something like this, I’ve already decided that choosing a Divine Gift would be more efficient. M,maa, just a little, I’m just going to look at the description.
《Rather than a vending machine that only receives coins and cash as compensation, it will be a machine that can accept goods and services without the aid of an assistant. Once you upgrade to become the defined item, you will be able to further take various option parts. 》
What did you say … in other words, there will be Functions that I couldn’t choose before, and even the vending machine body itself will increase in variety? Things that I, as an item called a vending machine this entire time, am unable to choose.
If I become not a vending machine, if I become that item that was described, then I will have Functions that I can choose from that were restricted to that item.
I can’t just not choose – – wait wait wait. Calm down, me. First, let’s take a deep breath and be cool, be cool.
Alright, I’m calm. First, since this is another world, and even more so on the Maze Level, to choose a Divine Gift to prolong my life, that would probably be the correct answer. That’s right. I’ve understood that point.
But, but you know, I’m a vending machine. I’m someone whose love has grown after getting this body. Although the reason behind my reincarnation is still unknown. It would be unforgiveable to forget that I am a maniac who was reborn as a vending machine.
Do I want to be a vending machine that manipulate things with psychic powers, or do I want surpass a vending machine with various functions?
《The vending machine’s Rank has increased to 2.》
Those words floated in my mind for just a second, my body overflowed with power … is what definitely didn’t happed; absolutely nothing changed. If there’s a Rank 2, then you can probably increase Rank further. I’m kind of looking forward to it.
From within my body a fever is coming out; I think about it calmly. Could it be, that I’ve screwed up?
N, no, certainly becoming more powerful is also a convenient matter. But, I’m a vending machine. I forgot that and got my priorities backwards. Before, every time something was an inconvenience, something or other was able to come along and I managed, na.
Un, un. No matter what I chose I’d end up compromising and making a mistake, but at least my mistake was made because I chose while thinking about the future, so I have little regret.
Reflection time is over!
Immediately, let’s get our hands on a Function I can use now that I’m Rank 2.
The white, slender and long body with the coin drop opening is obvious, but there’s plastic hose part that’s parallel to my side that’s come out.
Furthermore, there’s a trigger like on a gun there; when I pull it, *guuu* a good, heavy sound rang out and it sucked in air. There’s also a switch next to the trigger; when I push that, a fierce wind can be blown out; it’s a superior item.
It looks like it starts up properly, na – – the coin-operated vacuum left at self-service car washes.
I just explained it, but out of all the coin-operated vacuums, this is the model is the one I like best; it doesn’t just suck but also has the ability to blow air so you can go under your seats and blow out all the dust.
The problem is this. My intentions are to see if I can freely use the suction and blowing at will in order to manipulate it. If it’s possible, then I can shoot the tip of the hose outside of the Barrier.
If I can shoot the tip of the hose outside of the barrier, then I can stop myself from tumbling around on the ground. This vacuum hose is a light two meters plus, so it’s possible to shoot it out.
And then, now I’ll blow out air, STOP!
Just a little bit, the gust should be stronger … whoops, this time it’s too strong. Just a bit more, with the wind in short bursts, and I can fine-tune the position.
And the result of over ten minutes of struggles, somehow or other, I’ve transported the tip of the hose to my ideal spot. That’s right, to near where the eight-legged alligator coin is.
Before someone else takes it, it’s better to have a way to take it in myself. Having reached that conclusion, I carried out my mission.
Hose in position, OK! No hindrances in sight! Begin the suction!
From the mouth of the vacuum a noise resounded, and the sand and dirt all togethere were sucked in at once. The main aim, the coin, is also unable to withstand the suction, so it sidled up to the mouth of the vacuum and disappeared inside of it.
I can tell the coin is bouncing around in the hose. Oh yeah, after this, I wonder what will happen to the coin. I’m pretty sure this vacuum ejects out back, where there’s a garbage bin installed and there is where the trash should fall into.
《The Coin of the Eight-Legged Alligator has been added to your Possessions.》
What? E, Possessions you say? There shouldn’t be that kind of thing, na.
If there’s an issue, act on it immediately. Let’s check out my abilities.
Vending Machine Hakkon Rank 2
Refrigeration, Heat Insulation, Omni-directional Sight, Hot Water Dispenser, Cup Ramen Support Mode, 2 Liter Support Mode, Coating Change, Boxed Product Support, Vending Machine Security Camera, Rod-Shaped Candy Dispenser, Oxygen Vending Machine, Magazine Vending Machine, Natural Gas Vending Machine, Cardboard Vending Machine, Coin-Operated Vacuum
The Coin of the Eight-Legged Alligator
Oo, Possessions has been added to my status. That my Points have completely been reduced, and that Rank 2 is written there, there are other things I’m interested in, but first is the Possessions check, na.
《The Coin of the Eight-Legged Alligator. Proof that you have defeated a Level Ruler.》
E, there’s no other explanation? Is this just some collector’s item? Or is it some coin that holds some important meaning? I don’t really understand, but it probably won’t hurt me to keep it.
…. I wonder if I can take the coin out. Even if I take it out, it will take time to suck it back up again, so I won’t do it now. That Level Ruler’s name is actually Eight-Legged Alligator, huh?
The points have been cut down to around 20,000, so it wasn’t too unreasonable . The coin-operated vacuum actually consumed 2000 points. Of the Functions I’m able to choose from now that I’m Rank 2, there are a considerable amount of expensive ones; I didn’t notice.
Because I did the thins I had to do, I’ve quieted down a lot. Maa, because of that, the current situation becomes more real and pressing. I’m in one of the Level’s most find-able spots, so I estimate that the chances of running into Hunters who come to capture the Level are high.
From there the problem becomes what Ramis and any other resident of Seiryu Lake Level with good sense will do. And then, if thieves or the like come, it wouldn’t be weird if I was broken or carried off. There also aren’t any customers to secure anywhere here.
I should take into account the worst case scenarios. First I should secure the Points that are to be used only to preserve Barrier. And then, if I can find another method to get Points, that would be good. I can also suspend Functions to preserve points, so I’m not too worried.
That said, subjugating monsters … is impossible, na. Defeating the Eight-Legged Alligator was just good luck. Even if you say do this or that again, I don’t really want to, yup.
If anything happens and just suspending my Functions is enough, I have enough to withstand a year, but you never know what’s going to happen in this other world. Or like, why did I sink 1 million Points into a Rank Up; if I think about it, I’ll lose.
《The vending machine’s form-change time has gone over the two hour time limit. Immediately return to the original vending machine. I repeat. The vending machine’s form-change time has gone over the two hour time limit. Immediately return –》
What the!? All of a sudden a warning reverberated inside my head, and those words showed up. Form change time limit? E-, th,thinking about will have to take place later; returning back to the usual vending machine should be fine, na.
Immediately doing so, I returned to the usual vending machine, and the alarm and words disappeared. I’ve never experienced this before, but other than the original vending machine form, the most I’ve spent in another form on any day has never gone over two hours, huh?
Up until now I’ve turned into many forms, but come to think of it, I’d always feel kind of uncomfortable in other forms so I’d change back into the usual vending machine. So I’ve never gone over two hours in another model … I didn’t realize.
Two hours in one day is the limit, huh? It would be better if I stopped using a different form without a good reason.
Adding this into the mix, recently I’ve been relying on Ramis and Hyurumi all the time. A vending machine should be a convenient machine able to sell anything without a sale assistant. This is a good opportunity. Let’s see how far I can make it on my own.
- Actually, the name of the ability is <Nen Douryoku> and he explains it by calling it telekinesis, but since Nen Douryoku is ‘telekinesis’ in Japanese, I switched it about a bit. PK is psychokinesis, another descriptor of telekinesis. I was going to call it “Mind Power, but telepathy was the next ability, so I opted to keep them similarly translated.
T/n: Thanks Random dude for your donation!
I was DYING laughing through this.
Anyway, Happy Halloween! I barely made it in time for a Halloween update…>