Chapter 115: Messing up the timing really ruins punchlines
“Ooh, if it ain’t Ragnall.”
“Hmph. You have good ears as always. Where did you crawl out from?”
When we were escorted to the Guild Master’s room, there were other people already in there.
The woman over there behind the big desk is probably the Guild Master.
In front of the desk is a coffee table, with a sofa on one side and two armchairs that matched the sofa on the other.
Mismatched chairs of various types were arranged around them, though, so it looks like chairs were brought in to accommodate the guests.
Well, there’s over twenty people sitting at that coffee table.
A tanned ossan with a red beard, no moustache, and a scar over one eye greets Ragnall with a surprised look followed by a crude grin, while the pretty, ashen-skinned nee-san next to him hmphs and subtly insults Ragnall.
The other people around them also clearly recognize Ragnall, and quite a few of them are staring at him with a little hostility.
… Ragnall, you really are famous, but I’m not sure it’s a good thing.
By the way, elf lovers rejoice.
The nee-san is a dark elf! Although she has copper colored hair instead of white.
Ragnall gives a wry grin and says,
“Looks like my timing’s great as always.”
“You mean your ears for the sound of a coin dropping are as good as always.”
The dark elf responds, tossing her hair back and speaking arrogantly.
Although I’d normally be pissed off, dark elves are supposed to have that kind of prideful feeling so it can’t be helped, right?
… By the way, I’m not some perverted elf otaku. I only like elves as much as any normal guy interested in fantasy and adventure stories, okay?
I don’t care what Ragnall’s been saying.
As if he can say anything when his eyes get glued to women with big breasts. He doesn’t care about the other body proportions, either, and since a lot of women with big breasts are big in other places as well, I almost started calling him a fatty lover.
But most of those women aren’t actually fat, so I don’t want to insult THEM even as second-hand victims for a joke.
The woman behind the desk, who was probably the Guild Master, had wavy brown hair and sharp ears. Elf? Half-elf?
Normally the ears are a give away, with full elves having distinctly long ears and half elves being more like pointed human ears that are still turned forwards a little like full elf ears.
However, the Guild Master has strange ears.
Her ears are low set, but lie along the side of the head like human ears.
As for if they’re long or short… both?
The top is long, but the bottom is short, with a human-styled earlobe.
It kind of looks like a blade-like fin, but an ear.
She’s not a muscle-builder elf like Toal from Warden’s Post, but she looks like a woman who’s pretty physically active.
So basically like most of the women adventurers.
She leans back and looks at Ragnall with a skeptical look as she says,
“Although I’m fairly certain why you’re here, let me ask just to be sure. Why are you here?”
Ragnall glances at the other people – they’re definitely adventurers, just by the looks of them – and grins.
“Well, see, I heard a rumor about The Forge –“
Before he could say another word, a heavy sigh fills the room.
Every single person sitting over there participated in expelling that sigh.
“How does he do it, every time?!”
“Shit, he really has a nose for money.”
As they were all grumbling amongst themselves, the woman at the desk rubbed her temple with one hand.
“I suppose it’s pointless to ask, but where did you hear about it?”
Ragnall just smiles.
The woman sighs again.
“Alright, well, this guy doesn’t have to have any introductions made. I assume everyone’s okay with raising the number of participants from 22 to 23?”
Although there’s some grumbling, no one actually speaks up.
“Alright, then –“
“Actually, can we make that 25, then? I’ve started moving in a party, see.”
Ragnall said, like he was just adding a side dish onto his order.
There was a dead silence, then,
“25, not 28? So which one of them are your party members?”
The woman behind the desk asked.
Since Desmond, Aislin, and Aidan are also with us.
Ragnall pulled Hibiki and me forward by the shoulders.
The stares by truly strong people give off a really intense pressure.
By the way, we’re a party? Like, officially?
News to me.
“Fuck that! It’s bad enough that we have to split the share with that… THING that showed up out of nowhere, but I ain’t giving it up for his women!”
A half-elf woman with an ill-mannered look to her yelled out all of a sudden.
Hey. Don’t call Ragnall a thing. And don’t call Hibiki and me his ‘things’.
Although I understand where’s she’s coming from, there’s something about how she’s saying it that kind of pisses me off.
“Tries, Nomin, you guys say something too!”
The half-elf woman turns to her two equally ill-mannered looking comrades.
“… I mean, it’s already going to be 23 people, so, like, 25 people isn’t that much of a difference – as long as they give us something to compensate for it.”
“If someone dies on the job, their pay gets divided among the rest of us, right? … I’m just asking.”
… These guys are something else.
Well, still, I get that adding 2 random people with little to no background information about them is super sketchy, so let’s just keep things cordial.
“There’s no need to get so testy, so let’s…”
“Shut it, bitch! Why don’t you just stick to ******* ***** and ****, huh?!”
… talk it out. Huh.
Welp I’m all out of ideas.
Hibiki-chan, what about – oi, there’s a super dark aura coming out of you!?
Even though you were supposed to be an imouto-character, you’re giving a dark grin of no mercy-!
“Uh, you okay?”
“…Jun-kun, how are you okay about this?”
This girl’s just mouthing off, right? More like… uh… oh. Since I’m a girl now, those words were meant literally.
No, well, I thought she meant it like, “kissing ass,” or “clinging to his thigh,” you know, metaphorically.
… Wait. Ooooh…
Heeh… wow, so wait, do they think Hibiki-chan and I are trading sexual favors to Ragnall for …. for what? Fame? Because it’s definitely not money, not from Ragnall.
Wow, it took me so long to get it that even my initial anger from thinking she was just saying we’re leeching off Ragnall is gone.
Well, my dimwitted side notwithstanding, it’s getting pretty heated on that side.
Hibiki-chan puts a hand to her mouth, chuckling lightly.
“Saying such vulgar things just for your convenience. I see you’re not the brains of the operation.”
“Haah?! What’s a slut who can only lie on her back saying? It’s not like you know how to work your body in any way to get ahead in life.”
“You really think that’s the way women can get ahead? Ah, I see, that must be the only method you know about.”
“At least I know more than just how to use my boobs to entice men!”
“… Oh my, at least I have something there worth bothering about”
… Hibiki-chan, you’re just saying things to insult her now.
Also, did you forget your comrade over here is also flat as a board?
Although it doesn’t bother me that much, it’s a little disturbing when you watch girls really go at it and forget about their surroundings.
I edge away, over towards where Ragnall had joined the group of other adventurer onlookers.
He’s totally acting like it’s not his problem, so it’s fine if I do the same, right?
Right now, Ragnall’s asking the bearded man,
“Do I really look like someone who’d bring bed partners along for a high-tier request?”
“Of course not. More like, you’re not the guy to keep women. Since it costs money.”
The bearded man guffawed and laughed as the dark elf replied instead.
As I joined them, putting some distance between myself and the two girls spitting fire at each other, Ragnall asks,
“You’re not going to join them?”
“Well, I mean, it seems like a waste of energy. She’s not the person who’s going to be deciding what happens anyway, so I don’t see the point to arguing with her.”
The red-bearded man laughed.
“Hahaha! Well, if it’s just the attitude, this Missy’s a true, high-ranking pro!”
“A pro in what, though, I wonder…”
I mean, you can say I’m a pro, but Crafting is more my main, y’know?
And even that’s just me playing around with my hobby.
… I feel like my entire time since I’ve been transferred here is just me messing around with no plans and no worries about money or safety.
OP protagonists for light novels must feel like this.
Not that living a ‘no-plan life’ bothers me.
More like, I’m kind of surprised that I’m so okay with living like this.
Well, the world itself is interesting.
Ah, not good.
I got distracted.
“Oi, oi, it’s no good to be swinging unsheathed steel in the Guild Hall, right? There are proper procedures to fighting it out, you know?”
I say as I deflect the half-elf’s short sword with the hilt of my dagger.
My sword’s a katana, so there isn’t much of a guard on the hilt for this kind of stunt.
Hibiki-chan – ah, she used the <Backstab> move to instantly move behind the half-elf, although she cancelled it midway so she didn’t immediately attack.
I hear the whispers of, “When’d they move?” and the like from behind us.
Hm… it’s a bit of a shame that I didn’t have any game skills.
Masaki and Hibiki-chan make it look like it’s fun to mess around skill cancellations and chaining.
Hibiki-chan reached around, startling the half-elf as she gripped her throat and leaned in to whisper,
“Just because you couldn’t win through words, you immediately jump to violence. But it’s not like it’s guaranteed you’ll win that way either.”
… Hibiki-chan is going to be a dangerous woman when she grows up.
It’s a little scary.
Or maybe the girls in her middle school were too scary.
High school girls?
Maybe I hung out with a lot of girls at school, but either they’re good at hiding it or I just didn’t hang out with those kinds of girls.
Or maybe I didn’t notice.
The half-elf girl doesn’t just obediently accept defeat, though.
She pulls free with a violent swing.
“That does it! You, me, at the Guild Grounds! We’ll see! Whoever loses forfeits their right to join the expedition.”
The half-elf storms towards the door.
Ragnall started to say,
“I wouldn’t recommend…”
“What, afraid your bitch can’t perform anywhere except in bed?”
The half-elf sneered as she left the room.
Ragnall shrugged and said,
“Well, you can’t say I didn’t try to warn her.”
Hibiki-chan’s eyes flashed and she smiled the scary smile and said,
“I’ll be right back.”
As the door closed behind them, I couldn’t help but ask,
“What’s making her so confident?”
Like, seriously, Hibiki-chan totally got the better of her.
What, if she got serious she’d take Hibiki-chan out in an instant?
Uh… I don’t think that’s possible.
As proof, no one else except the Guild Master’s assistant and one of the girl’s comrades left the room to follow after them and see what happened.
It’s pretty obvious what the outcome will be.
Because of first impressions, where she had been kidnapped at the beginning, I tended to forget that Hibiki-chan is just as much of a cheat as me and the rest of the gamers.
Un, it’s not worth wasting time wondering about it at all.
If I have time to think about that, it’d be better spent asking,
“By the way, what are we all doing?”
<t/n: dragon 2 up, and also fluvia whatever the number is. Threw out my back, things got a little crazy… I’m better now, so I’ll do my best with updates!>