vendm 107: Auto-Vending Convenience Store

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Jidou Hanbaiki ni Umarekawatta ore wa Meikyuu o Samayou
Author: Hiru Kuma
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Auto-Vending Convenience Store

“Oh, you’ve returned… ? Why is Hevoy the only one who’s soaked?”

“Due to personal circumstances, I fell into the lake.”

“The hell?”

Leader Keryoil looked at us, who had returned, suspiciously.
Well, you’d naturally be suspicious if only one person returned thoroughly soaked?
There were no obvious wounds on Leader and the others, who had protected the fork in the road, nor do they seem very fatigued.
It seems there are much fewer enemies compared to when we broke through, so right now only Mishael is dealing with the enemy.

“It’s going to be noon soon; what do you want to do?”

Throwing a knife with just a snap of his wrist, Leader Keryoil yawned as he asked leisurely. By the way, the knife stabbed a green demon’s throat.

“We’ve been moving a lot, so everyone must be hungry. Hakkon-san, could you prepare a little more than usual?”

Why of course, Vice-Leader Felmina.
Although we took breaks, they dealt with that many enemies, so everyone should have expended quite a lot of calories.
Now then, what shall I do about food and drinks? Up until now I’ve been displaying the usual goods, but I got an interesting function so I’m thinking about trying it out.
For food, recently it’s been all the usual things, so let’s have a fresh start and remind them of the fun of choosing products.
This function hasn’t been an option up until now, and it recently appeared all of a sudden. There might be a set of requirements, like being Rank 3. Maybe something like restocking above a certain amount of food or drinks, or gathering over a certain amount of types.
It wouldn’t be surprising if there were those sorts of conditions; the new vending machine is efficient.

It costs a lot more points compared to other functions, but I decided it was a necessary expenditure and chose it, changing into the form of the <Auto-vending Convenience Store>.
As the name of this vending machine implies, it’s a vending machine where you can buy convenience store products 24 hours a day. In actuality, it was collaboration with major convenience store brands.
It’s a simple design with white as its base, and is the same as my usual form, except that the words “Kazoku Itiba” is written on my right side in blue letters. The width of my body is also roughly the same, but my thickness has increased.
^{<t/n: Kazoku Itiba is probably a spoof of the convenience store chain FamilyMart>}
And the biggest difference is the line up of products. The products found in convenience stores are lined up all in a row. There are all sorts of rice balls, bread, bentos, side dishes, cup beverages, and snacks, and when I become this vending machine, you can choose almost all the food and beverages placed in a convenience store.

The vendors replace the goods in a real auto-vending convenience store every day, but in my case, my strong point is that I can replace things as I please. Although it costs points.
There’s a limit to the number of goods I can display, so how to arrange them becomes an opportunity to show my abilities.

There are six rows, so should I display riceballs on the top row? I can’t leave out salmon, tuna-mayo, or kelp. Then there’s sour plum… h-m, that might be impossible for another world, maybe. I personally like chicken-mixed-rice, so should I include it?
^{<t/n: tori gomoku – 5 vegetables and chicken mixed in with rice and steamed>}
Let’s make the second row sandwiches. That will be eggs, ham, both, pork cutlet, and shrimp cutlet, I guess. And you can’t throw out hot dogs and yakisoba bread.
The third and fourth rows are bentos. First is the staple, kara’age bento. And then three types of rice bowls, the pork cutlet bowl, egg and chicken bowl, and Chinese rice bowl. And the Chinese bento and grilled beef bento are necessary too. I ate them a lot in my life.
^{<t/n: Chinese rice bowl/bento is stir fry with onions, mushrooms, etc, and thin slices of meat>}
Shall I bury the fifth row in sweets? Recently, the sweets in convenience stores can’t be underestimated. They’re far more delicious than the cakes from the bakery near my house. Should I try putting out pudding, cream puffs, tarts, cheese cakes, and my favorite sweet potato?
The last row is drinks. I’ll attack with cup and pack beverages, not the can and bottle beverages. It’s a line up that’s a little expensive with an emphasis on taste, so let’s captivate everyone with it.
Alright, the ideal lineup. Now then, shall I have them relish the power of the vending machine that’s turned into a small convenience store to their heart’s content?

“Welcome.”

With it all lined up, everyone except Mishael, who’s currently in combat, stared at the large number of products they had never seen before even once.

“Eh, Hakkon, there are a lot of food I haven’t seen before!?”

Ramis opened her eyes wide in surprise. That’s the face I wanted to see.

“U,uwaaaaa. Isn’t this a mountain of treasures-ssu… F,for now, I have to eat all of them.”

“I,I also have to conquer everything from the top to bottom-!”

“Calm down, Mikene. Leave the drinks for afterwards -”

The color of eyes of the gluttons, Shui, Mikene, and Shote, changed. That repeated, rough breath, the thing that seems like steam spewing from the corner of their mouths; I want to believe I’m just imagining it.

“There’s a ton of really delicious looking bread. So this is drinks? Hoooh, I can’t decide.”

“These are desserts, aren’t they? I must try them.”

Leader and Vice-Leader are also immensely curious, it seems. As I thought, women are drawn to sweets?

“What should I pick? Hey, what do you want to eat, Red?”

“Calm down, White. Let’s each pick something different and give each other half.”

Overhearing the twins, Vice-Leader and Ramis made the easy to understand faces of, ‘So we can do that.’
After all, Ramis eats a lot, but Vice-Leader doesn’t eat much, exactly as she appears. She seems to think that it would be impossible to eat all the sweets she’s having trouble deciding between, so she proposed something to Ramis.
Both of them nodded in satisfaction, so it seems they’d settled their discussion.

“I’d like this drink with the color that seems like it would look attractive poured into my shoe cup, please.”

I did think, how would strawberry milk be poured into a shoe? but it’s already troublesome to comment on it, so I’ll leave it be.
They didn’t know how to unwrap a riceball, and when I used <Telekinesis> to show them, they cheered.
Come to think of it, my three-year-old niece had the exact same reaction when I unwrapped her riceball, how nostalgic.

The food and beverages displayed are all exactly the same as the goods in a convenience store so they’re unmistakably delicious, but I think the unique flavor of canned foods and drinks are better and more like a vending machine.
The food of the <Auto-vending Convenience Store> is of higher quality, but for better or worse, there aren’t any products unique to vending machines, so it’s a bit disappointing for a maniac.
My impressions aside, all of the products are largely popular, but the bentos are giving a mediocre impression.

“It’s delicious, but it would be more delicious if this was hot.”

I didn’t miss Mikene muttering as if it was a bit of a pity.
That’s right, that’s one of this <Auto vending convenience store>’s few weaknesses. There’s plenty of products and I have no complaints about the taste, but I can only choose between chilled and cold for the temperature settings within the vending machine, so even though I have products that would taste better hot, I can only offer them cold.
But normally >Auto-vending machines> are placed within offices, and microwaves are readily available in those sorts of places, so there are no problems.
There’s also no problems if you take it home and heat it up, but this is a problematic point in because this is another world.

If you want a hot drink, there are usually normal vending machines lined up next to it so that isn’t a problem in present day Japan either.
Also, I’m limited to two hours as anything but the basic vending machine, so I can’t be in this form for long periods of time. In the situation where there are a lot of people like in the evacuation site, I’d be worried I’d go over the time limit, so it’s better to restrain myself only to when there are a small amount of people so I’d have plenty of time.
In other words, it seems like a function I can only use as a luxury from time to time.
It might be perfect to offer as a service for my regular customers. How about a special version that only customers who’ve spent a total of one gold coin can use?
If I do that, the gatekeepers meet the requirements with room to spare. Let’s try transforming when it’s just the two of them. I’m looking forward to it.

“U,um-. I’m sorry to interrupt as you’re relaxing. Could I have someone switch with me?”

Mishael called out apologetically to his comrades, who had eaten delicious things to their hearts content, and were relaxing as they pleased.
Ah, sorry Mishael. I completely forgot you were fighting all by yourself.

“My stomach’s stuffed, so I can’t move-”

“Aah, it’s impossible.”

The two from the Big Eater’s Brigade have stomachs swelled, like in a cartoon. How much did they eat?

“Apologies-ssu. I’m still eating -ssu.”

Shui is at the point where she’s eating sweets, both hands clutching cream puffs and in full rapture. Put those down and pick up your bow and arrows.

“Everyone, even though the enemies are week, you can’t let down your guard.”

“Un, un, that’s right.”

She’s saying words that seem like blame, but Vice-Leader Felmina and Ramis, who agrees with her, are clearly at their limits, not showing any signs of movement. They ate too many sweets, huh?

“Kaah- how deplorable. To the extent your Leader is ashamed. I’ll leave it to you, Hevoy.”

Flopped on the ground in the shape of a ‘大’, Leader waved his hat.
Nono, have a greater sense of crisis. Although it might be strange for me, who offered the food and drink, to be the one to say it.

“Everyone, you’ve lost your sense of crisis. Here is a party of the labyrinth where monsters live. Normally one would try to move while maintaining awareness. To eat until you can’t move is nothing more than shameful for one who undertakes the hunter trade. You won’t remain alive in this business if you don’t have the sense to withstand temptations and desires, have you forgotten this?”

Hevoy made a splendidly sound argument, but no one reflected on themselves as they made a face like, ‘What are you talking about?’
They want to refute him, complaining about his daily conduct in comparison, but they understand that they’re in the wrong so they can’t say anything.
Hevoy is saying it while completely understanding that. His smug face is just asking for his companions’ wrath.

“Thank you for your hard work, Mishael-san. I apologize for my unreliable companions. Please leave the rest to me. Please have your meal at your leisure.”

In comparison to Hevoy’s gentle smile, Mishael’s cheeks stiffened and a drop of sweat slid down his temple.
Since, in the direction Mishael’s facing, he can clearly see the members sitting behind Hevoy.
The Red-White twins cheerfully raise a middle finger, expressing their anger with their bodies. Shui silently readied her bow, and Vice-Leader brandished her staff. The tip of it is gathering water, but I wonder if it would be better to stop her.
Leader unconcernedly tilted his hat, sealing off his vision.
The two Big Eaters Brigade members didn’t mind it and fell asleep.
Only Ramis is reflecting, nodding several times. How admirable, Ramis.

“Now then, shall I cover for everyone else’s error? That’s right, if everyone is regretting causing me trouble, I wouldn’t mind it if everyone presents their smelly shoes –”

He was unable to get the last words out of his mouth. Since it was necessary for him to dodge the pebbles, arrows, and magic flying his way.
Hevoy avoided all those attacks with ease, and the stray attacks shot down the monsters.
It was an unbelievable spectacle. Avoiding his companions’ attacks with a gentle smile, and getting the monsters caught up in it, downing one after another.

“Hahahaha-, those were my afterimages, you know.”

Even though he was in danger of the concentrated attacks, Hevoy seems to be having fun.

“Once this guy’s around, we suddenly become true fools of whimsy. Such a headache.”

Even though he’s grumbling, Leader Keryoil also seems to be having fun.
This is the Fools of Whimsy Brigade’s true form? Although their behavior is probably largely due to joining up with Hevoy, revealing their original selves might just be proof that they accept us as companions.

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<t/n: It’s a bit short, but I’m other the weather so I’ll take it.>