Jidou Hanbaiki ni Umarekawatta ore wa Meikyuu o Samayou
Author: Hiru Kuma
Looks like I got my hands on another new function.
I’ve been thinking that I wanted this function from way before, but I ended up dragging it out because I was always busy with something. Recently things have calmed down a little, so I made up my mind and took it.
“Congratulations. You have won another bottle.”
(“Atari ga detara mou ippon”)1
“Alright, alright, come on, come on, 7, 7, siiix, WHAAAaaat!”
That’s right, the real goal is to finally have the possibility to use this voice-clip. I have added the lottery function. If the 777 number is lined up then you win and get another; it’s something that anyone has hopes for at least once.
Since I’ve first installed it, sales have grown close to 30%. Since this community doesn’t have many entertainment facilities, even though it’s such a simple slot machine like thing, people who get really into it appear one after another.
In addition, between the residents they say that if you win you’ll have good luck for the rest of the day; that sort of suspicious rumor is spreading, and the people who come to buy things to test their luck are increasing.
Even though it as something designed to bring a little spice and fun into everyday life, one of my regulars has unexpectedly become addicted; today as well he’s pointlessly buying up loads of products.
“Calm down, I should calm down. This is, this is going to be the last one. If I go with the probability up until now, water has the greatest winning possibility. Therefore buying water will be the shortest path to certain victory!”
That’s, I think the frequency went up because you’re overwhelmingly buying water, old man.
With bloodshot eyes and ragged breathing, his finger on top of the button and letting out a yell, it’s one of the three of my morning regulars, the old man. Up until there had been many times where he had come together with the old woman, but after the Lottery was implemented, he’d come alone early in the morning at a time when no one else was around and spin the slots at least six times before he went back.
Incidentally, it’s possible for those who installed a vending machine to freely change the winning percentages of a vending machine’s slot function.
And, for some trivia, there’s a rumor that if you want to win the slots, you should choose unpopular products.
Even though it’s a slot-machine system, there are also things like the winning chances are dictated by how the commodities are displayed, or the limit in premiums for rewards are generally already decided, or that the chances are 2% of the estimated total sales.
In other words, if you buy 100 bottles of the product, if you are supplied with at least 2 bottles, you’re doing well.
Maa, when it’s all said and done, in the end it’s all luck, you know. If you want to win no matter what, you have to sink money in like you want to buy up everything in order to secure your win.
“Everything for this one chance, all of my gambling life-!”
“What are you doing, Grandfather …”
Right in front of the old man, when he turned around while making a face like, “Uh oh-!”, is the old woman, raising her cane over her head with a smiling face. So he’s finally been caught. Well yeah, if he sneaks out of the house early every morning, it’s going to turn out like this.
“My goodness, I thought your bad habit from before had come out and you were chasing ladies’ rears again … haa, but it was this disease that has relapsed instead.”
“N, no, Grandmother is, you’re mistaken. L, look, I was thinking I’d buy a lot of that soup you like, ouch-!”
The cane was swung down on top of the head of the Grandfather making excuses. It’s fine, even though she hit him with a merciless force, it’s probably ok.
“Even if your head splits, I can heal it so there’s no need to worry.”
Oh yeah, the old woman can use the Divine Gift, <Healing Light>, can’t she? Then I don’t have to worry … I don’t have to worry, right?
“My goodness, there’s no way you’ve forgotten what day today is.”
“I know. I know … but let me do it one last time.”
“GR, AN, D, FA, TH, ER.”
Grandmother gave her cane a twist and a pull, and from inside you could see a dull glittering of light from a blade. E, you mean that’s a sword cane-? Against Grandmother, who readied the katana that had appeared from the cane with a gentle smile, Grandfather’s back has gone completely rigid.
“Th, the meet up! Grandmother’s arm has been equipped to be quite fashionable. I get it, I was wrong.”
“So you understand, nee. If that’s the case, then let’s go.”
With many sorrowful side-glances in my direction, Grandfather left with Grandmother pulling him along. Usually there’s the feeling that Grandmother accommodates Grandfather, but in actuality he was charmed by Grandmother’s butt, huh?
Today, Grandfather seems to have gotten even more aggravated than usual at the slots. With how Grandmother was speaking, it looks like there’s some important errand, but because he doesn’t want to go, it seems he was trying to escape reality.
If I was capable of holding a conversation, I could have become someone that could have listened to even one of his complaints, but a vending machine is something that can’t do anything but sell things.
Though I’m also interested about Grandmother, like always I provide people with products, and before I realize it, the town is dyed red. Sunset, huh … even though this is the inside of a Dungeon, like it’s natural, the sun rises and the sun sets. And it does it without looking unnatural at all; it probably means that I’ve grown used to the other world, too.
Today it looks like Ramis is busy, so it’s one-day abandonment play in the vicinity of the Hunter Association.
Talk that recently the restaurants and food carts, provoked by the vending machine’s food products, have raised the level of their food’s taste is something that I’ve been hearing often. Since I think it’s great that the community is livening up like that, from evening and through the night, I don’t put up food related products.
The time the otherworld people retire for bed seems to be early, so even if they open late, all the stores are closed by 22:00, so from thereon after I place hot cup ramen and canned oden, as well as the recently acquired canned curry udon.
There’s a mode where you can provide the ability to heat up frozen products, but if I do that, half of the vending machine would be occupied with this function, and I wouldn’t know whether to whether to do beverage mode or do cup ramen in the other half.
“Grandpa, Grandpa. Are you hungry? That rectangular thing, it’s the box where lots of food comes out of, ne. May isn’t hungry, but I wonder if it’s tasty.”
I hear the voice of a very young girl. That’s a really round about way to ask for something. The way she insists she doesn’t want to eat at all is pretty cute. She seems to be somewhat of a precocious child.
“Oh, is that so? Then, let me buy you something. What does May want to eat, jya?”
N, right now that was voice of the old man regular, wasn’t it? Like this morning’s unpleasant mood was a lie, his whole face lit up with a smile and he’s holding the girl’s hand. Next to them is the old woman and an adult-looking woman with three braids that looks like she’s in her twenties.
“I’m glad I decided to come … I’m sorry for being a daughter who neglects her parents.”
“For a parent, the greatest disrespect is for you to die before them, you know? Maa, you were able to get this old because you were a capable child, though I think we spoiled you too much, nee. “
They’re having a heavy conversation. I know that listening in as a kind of third-party is rude, but I don’t have any way to cover my ears so please pardon me.
That woman is their daughter, then. By their appearance, the old couple looks to be in the late half of their sixties, but with the daughter actually being in her thirties, it’s not really that weird of an age difference.
“This person was reluctant to the bitter end. Even though he actually wanted to meet you he went back to his bad habits; truly, he is a person who can’t be frank.”
“It’s because he was prepared to disown me for eloping, so it’s obvious ne. And it was even to someone he didn’t like. And then, when I was tossed aside I shamelessly came back.”
“It’s not that. That person was worried about you, nanyo. Whatever you say, here is the inside of a Dungeon where monsters run rampant. And recently there have been monster attacks all over the place, and the defenses are lax. During this time, you one-sidedly sent a letter saying you were coming; he was a-lways worrying about you.”
“That, is that so?”
“That’s right. I mean, when you ran from here, he began gambling even though he had stopped for so long.”
Is what the old woman said, meanwhile the old man and his granddaughter were staring at my front in order to choose the products.
Aa, so this is why the old man has recently been constantly spinning the slots, trying to find a sure way to win. In order to prepare for today, out of desperation he was hoping to pull a win because of that rumor about the all-day good luck.
“Grandpa, these numbers, whaaat are they?”
“Aa, this, huh? When you buy something, this here will spin, and if the three numbers match you win, and you get to choose one more jyayo. And you know, they say that if you win here, you’ll be happy all day.”
“E-, is that so! May wants to try it out! I’m sure I’ll win!”
Raising her hand, the girl *pyon pyon* bounced. The old man’s eyes narrowed; watching his blindingly cute2 granddaughter, his face became loose with a smile. It’s the first time I’ve seen him make such a gentle face.
“Then, let’s give it a go. Gramps will put the coins in here, and you push the button of what you want ee. By the way, Gramps’ recommendation is water jyayo.”
“Un, let’s try it!”
It looks like the girl can reach the lowest row, so let’s switch orange juice in there.
By standing on her tiptoes with all her might, the girl touched the orange juice button. While the juice came out of my opening, the slot’s numbers began to move.
“It’s 7 and 7! After I just need one more, ne!”
“If it’s 7s, you won’t win. All this time, it’s never come for me either.”3
“Se-ven, se-ven, se-ven, se-ven …. 7 came! I woooooon-!”
“Wh, what in the-!”
The fanfare sound rang and the red and blue lights that represented hot and could flashed alternately. The girl bounces in happiness while the old man stands there, dazed.
He probably can’t believe the scene before his eyes. Even though up until now he had to sink money in like crazy in order to get a win, his granddaughter pulled a win out of her first try, after all.
“May, hurry and choose, the time you get to choose the extra is almost over, zo.”
“Then, this one!”
What the girl chose was the mineral water lined up next to the orange juice.
“Ok, this one is Grandpa’s!”
“So you’ll give it to me, thank you. It’s just, finally getting the all-day happiness effect now, when the day is almost over jya. It’s kind of a waste.”
“E, why? Today, May met Grandpa and Grandma, I’ve been happy all day! That’s why, it’s not a waste at all!”
When those words came, the old man turned towards the sunset and looked up at the clouds. Though, with my height the old man’s face was exposed, and near his eyes there was a glittering drop.
Grandfather and Grandmother, as well as Ms Daughter and Granddaughter. The four were lined up and walking away, and their shadows stretched out longer and longer on the ground. Those shadows looked like they were swaying, intertwined, in happiness, and then they disappeared into the distance.
Whether May-chan’s win was a coincidence or not, trying to figure that out is meaningless, huh?
- atari detara mou ippon – literally, “A success has come out, so another bottle.” Since he may/may not be using his voice functions to make new words, instead of letting it be a pain in the butt later on, I’ll have the romanji below Mr Vending Machine’s words when he uses a new phrase, as well as when he starts mishmashing them.
- “cute” wasn’t actually in it, but it was the easiest way to make the meaning clear in English. She’s so cute/pure/innocent that she blinds him.
- literally he just says, “if it’s like that you won’t win”, but it’s suggested indirectly that it’s because she got 7s. Since that’s less obvious in English (whether she won’t win because the last number won’t come or if it’s because it’s 7s), I just wrote it in.
<T/n: Thank you LYNKZ and ROBERT for your donations! (and no I don’t have a patreon atm)
I wasn’t sure how to best translate “atari tsuki” as the new function, which I thought all around the block until my head spun, but decided to go with the term most used by English-speaking vending machine enthusiasts to describe the function, which is “lottery.” Other candidates were “roulette,” “slot machine”(but then the author uses ‘slots’ with a different term so that was scrapped) or “You have won.” (The literal is “you have acquired a success”)>