VendM 020: Abduction

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Jidou Hanbaiki ni Umarekawatta ore wa Meikyuu o Samayou
Author: Hiru Kuma


A, greetings, vending machine here. Currently, I am in the middle of an acclaimed transport.

I’ve been placed in the middle of a swaying luggage rack of a wild boar transport cart; maa, it’s fine, but the problem I have with this is, where and what circumstance am I talking from?

Since there’s no canopy on top of the luggage rack, I can see the surrounding scenery well. Sometimes, from among the tall wild grass that springs up from the prairie, creatures that seem like deer with three horns will show their faces.

As for what else I can see, there are two men sitting in the driver’s seat.  Their ages are probably around the forties. Their faces are the types that don’t leave any particular impression.

And, behind this transport there’s one more wild boar transport cart following us. In that luggage rack there is a gang of 6 people that look Hunter-like. The colleagues of the ones who gave me troubles by placing me in this transport, probably.
Seri-ously, it’s a bit late, but I should have been a little more suspicious.
Early in the morning they came; those guys lined up in a row in front of me, and began to talk to me.

“The President from the Hunter Association has made a request; the repair and reinforcement of the area around the wall has begun in earnest today. He wishes that Hakkon-san would sell things there for the time being.”

Right at that time I was calculating my ability Points, and was just agonizing over what I should stock next and immediately replied “Welcome,” being lost in the sea of my thoughts.

Up until now the bear President would come directly to ask or Ramis would come to ask in exchange; there had only been those two, but I figured that it’s possible that these people were just sent to let me know.

And then, again without my suspicion, the six men placed me on the transport. Here too I made another big mistake. After being put on the cart, the sunlight shining in on me from the window feels good; it’s a situation where you get sleepy, ne. Even though I’m fine even if I don’t sleep, because of my habits from my human era, I sometimes get sleepy.
With the transport swaying and the sound of the wheels clattering on the ground in place of a lullaby, my consciousness faded.

So, that’s what the current situation is. This is, I’m probably being kidnapped na. I’m guessing their aim is the gold coins that were tucked inside me, or maybe they wanted me myself for their benefit.

There’s absolutely no feeling that my life is at all in crisis, it’s just that not being able to move with my own power is the number one most troublesome matter. Even if I manage to escape from these guys somehow, I don’t have any way to get back to the community. This level is pretty big, so if I’m abandoned on the way, there’s a good chance that no one will realize it for several years. Maa, I’ll probably run out of points before that, though.

For now, let’s use a measure of crime prevention that I acquired before, the vending machine security camera, to record the faces of the criminals. Recording them like this, I will always be able to playback their images inside my head, and there’s no way I’ll forget their faces.

At least two of them have faces I’ve seen before, na. They’re customers who have been buying things frequently, recently, but I remember that they looked at the products with more zeal than other people.

Other than that … n, aa, that guy’s here too, huh? The bit-villain Gugoil is smirking and looking my way, laughing. As always, he has his small-fry act perfectly down.
<t/n: formerly Gugoiru, the guy who continuously tries to rob our MC>

It was this guy’s plan to team up with a group with nasty habits; maybe they were originally former comrades. If that’s the case, then I guess they’re going to drop me off somewhere and dismantle me. I’m pretty sure that Gugoil shouldn’t know about my <Barrier>. I think other than Ramis and Leader Keryoil, no one else has seen it.

If that’s the case, then let’s make <Barrier> my trump card. That being said, at this rate the distance from the community is getting further away, and the probability of them finding me is getting smaller; wh, what should I do? I’m panicking a little.
O, ok, let’s check over my abilities again to calm down.

Vending Machine Hakkon
Endurance: 100/100
Defense: 10
Strength: 0
Agility: 0
Dexterity: 0
Magic Power: 0

PT 11346

Refrigeration, Heat Insulation, Omni-Directional Sight, Hot Water Dispenser (Cup Ramen Support Mode), 2 Liter Support, Rod-Shaped Candy Vending, Coating Change, Box-Shaped Product Support, Vending Machine Security Camera

<Divine Blessing>

As a vending machine I can brag that I’m highly efficient, but they aren’t abilities that will help me flourish in another world, na.

I have an excessive, over ten thousand Points, but now that this situation has come about, even if it’s the worst, with just this many points I can maintain <Barrier> for a long time, so let’s think of it as a blessing in disguise. It can also support repairs as many times as I need.

Calm down, calm down. I won’t be turned into scrap so soon. Since it seems like <Barrier> exhausts 1 Point for one second, then one minute would be 60. Then one hour will need 3600, won’t it … this, this is bad …
Even though I was so happy about being able to do anything with my ten thousand Points, the power of past me’s able-to-do-anything mood has dropped.

While I was thinking about these things, the distance from the community has been steadily growing farther and farther away; it seems like it’s been about two hours since I’ve woken up.

“O-i, let’s take a break.”

The man in this transport’s driver’s seat turned around and yelled; the wild boar transport cart stopped.

From the wild boar transport cart that had been following behind as well, they disembarked in groups. And, these guys crowded around me; they can’t be thinking that I’ll obediently put out some food.

“Then, let’s eat lunch. Oi, Hakkon. If you’ve got a conscious, you get this situation, right?”

Since his comrades are around, the bit-villain is getting carried away. Probably remembering that time’s humiliation, he’s laughing brainlessly while flashing a blade.

“Put out the food and drinks we want, for free. Even if you’re an iron box, you understand what will happen if you refuse.”

“Too bad.”

I replied immediately. I don’t have to tell you the result that provoking him here will lead to.
Not betraying expectations, blood rushes to Gugoil’s face in an instant; he becomes red. This guy really doesn’t understand the word “patience”.

“You bastard, I’m going to break you!”

He plunges a dagger at the glass, but it’s at the degree of being a light scratch on the surface.

《1 damage. Endurance has been reduced by 1.》

It’s just 1 damage, even poorer than I expected. Damage from the Frog-men hurt more. No matter how many times I was wounded, the total damage didn’t reduce more than 5.

“Gugoil, cut it out. Sure we’re also aiming for this guy’s contents, but I told you, he himself probably has worth as product. You’re scratching it up pointlessly.”

“Y, yessir. Sorry … ke-, you escaped with your life.”

A perfectly typical parting shot. The dude who stopped him has a body that is, compared to the others surrounding him, one size larger. He’s similar to that person called Goggai, who was together with the money-exchanger woman, but only in physique.

There’s a huge knife scar on his forehead that emphasizes his evil looks na. He has no eyebrows or hair on his head; is it shaved or is it natural? If it wasn’t for his splendid moustache, he’d probably resemble the gatekeeper, Karios, quite well.

“You too, you probably don’t want to be broken. In that case, I think it’d be wiser to obey us here.”

This big man seems reasonable, more so than Gugoil. Certainly nothing good will come out of defying them here. Here I should pretend to obediently listen; analyzing the situation makes this seem like the best choice.

“Your head     Is    Too bad.”
(“Ata    Ma    Zannen”(lit: Hea   d   Too bad)) 1

Yeah right. Like I’ll listen to the gang that looks to be abducting me. If Ramis were here I’d absolutely refuse. In other words, if I want to stay with her from now on, I can’t live my life with any shame.

“Seems like you don’t get your situation. Oi, Gugoil. I heard that this guy can repair breakages himself.”

“Ya, that’s true. Even though he should have been pretty dented from the subjugation expedition, he completely went back to his clean state.”

“I see, then you guys, let him have it just to the point where he won’t break.”

If I had a sense of pain, this is a situation that would make me remember fear, but threatening a vending machine by surrounding him with a bunch of burly guys … what a high-level gag.

Even though they don’t even get it, they’re going to recklessly wound me to get me to listen to them; what a simple way of thing. I guess they aren’t aware that it’s really stupid since their opponent is a metal box.

“If you’re going to apologize you better do it now. Unless the Boss forgives you, you won’t get any mercy so you’d better prepare yourself.”

The Boss, huh. So that’s the Top and these guys are all the minions. Well, maa, now that I’ve calmly acquired this information I have a clear understanding of the situation, though I don’t have any way of conveying that.

《3 damage. Endurance has reduced by 3.》

《2 damage. Endurance has been reduced by 2.》

They’re really coming at me and hitting me mercilessly with weapons. If it continues like this, even if they’re not really doing me in, eventually I’ll be destroyed. But I’d like to keep <Barrier> hidden until the last minute. If I repair now, they’ll probably get worked up and the attacks will increase. What should I do; I think the right answer would be to make my opponents hurry and leave me alone before they’re on the verge of breaking me, but … that is, their mood shows no signs of calming down.

I don’t have enough Points for Divine Blessings. And there aren’t any useful functions. I wonder if there isn’t anything else I can do. My Endurance continues to fall; I have no way of fighting back. Even though, if I had just a little more Defense, I bet I would come out unhurt.

《Would you like to spend 1000 Points to increase Defense by 10?》

E-, while looking at the Defense line, words came floating up. E, you can even use Points to enhance Status!?

1000 Points to raise Defense definitely hurts, but it can reduce the damage I’m currently receiving. There’s worth in doing so. Then, let’s try raising it.

《Defense has become 20.》

I can’t really tell but I probably got harder. Whether that’s true or not, from now on I’ll understand even if I don’t want to.

《0 damage. Endurance has been reduced by 0.》

Alright, the damage has become nothing. Like this, with the reduction of my Endurance in this situation, I can leave it and those guys will probably mistakenly think what they’re doing is effective, since I left behind all the damage until now.
I guess I’ll just watch until my opponents wear themselves out.

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  1. “Ata ma    zannen”(lit: Hea   d   Too bad)
    From “Atari ga detara mou ippon” (Congratulations. You have won another bottle (lit: A win has come out so another one)), “Mata no gori you o omachishite imasu.” (Please come again (lit: We await the next time you come)), “Zannen” (Too bad, what a shame, etc)
    While he could be calling the guy stupid, I think it’s more likely that our MC is trying to call him “baldy”, a common insult for older men in Japan even if the guy isn’t bald. And calling him “baldy” just seems to suit our MC’s sense of humor better than cleverly calling him dumb. But well, that’s my interpretation.

<t/n: Thank you RS, TD, and GB for your donations!
In this installment of the sassy-pants vending machine’s slice-of-life, the action begins to pick up!
Sorry, this is actually a day later than I had planned, because I was super stressed out, couldn’t concentrate worth a dime, and decided to get drunk and spend a whole day genocid-ing mobs on an mmo. No quests or anything, just straight up massacre lol. Man, I can’t wait until all of this rl stuff blows over … 1 more week… just 1 more week…if everything goes well…>



  1. Meatbun delivery~
    Thank you for the chapter ( ●w●)

    hahahahaha.. i wonder how long will it take for those thugs to figure out that their punches are not working..


  2. So he can increase his stats now… Well that opens a lot of possibilities!

    I wonder if he can get some sort of special coating magic or something (like thorns) that will damage people who try and hurt him. REVENGE OF THE ABUSED VENDING MACHINE!!

    Thank for the chapter~

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thanks for the chapter! I wonder when he’ll realize that increasing Agility will probably give him the ability to move. Since it is 1k PT for 10 Agility, I would consider it worthwhile just to experiment since raising all his stats should cost him only 6k PT which he has been show to be able to get in only a few weeks.

    – Riah Weston


    1. That is assuming it is 1k PT for 10 AGI. Something tells me that getting AGI/STR as a vending machine will be unreasonably expensive, yanno? At least until he gets that Transformers mod.


      1. Well 10 Endurance cost 1K PT so I’m assuming the first of every stat boost is 1K PT with each one after raising in PT needed. Sort of like how standard RPG lvs works. Once we see him invest in other stats we’ll get a better grip.
        I’m pretty sure he actually learns fire magic around chapter 40 but that’s just conjecture from looking at the chapter titles.

        -Riah Weston


      2. It’s also possible it was only 1k PT for 10 defense because he had only 10 defense. The more stats you have the more PTs needed to increase stats is a standard mechanic when you can spend PTs for stats.


    2. I don’t think just buying more agility points is enough to be able to move. He probably won’t just get wheels or something from that. He needs to buy that modification first to become mobile and then will the agility points be useful.


    1. Because I translate 1 chapter of VM to every 2 chapters of OVRMMO + Wfb, and I only have a few of VM’s chapters out. I’m sure my typo avg will rise after I’ve done 30 some chapters of VM too.
      Also, the sentences are more convoluted and have more character to them, so I HAVE to go over them multiple times to make sure I don’t dull the MC’s funny parts, because without his humor the story wouldn’t be fun to read at all. And that’s why translating VM is hard.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. I think by raising his mana capacity he could be able to use magic too if he can afford these upgrades 😀

    Thanks for the chapter 🙂


  5. As strange as it might sound, I think I prefer this to VRMMO lolol the vending machine is justice (though WFB is still my favourite among the three)


  6. thanks k.linH.

    nice chapter.

    I loved the part sumrized as following “I’m being kidnapped.. but it’s sunny… so I became sleepy.. you know .. naaa”.


    1. impossible with my current rl status. I will try to squeeze it out between the 2 consec updates of OVRMMO/Wfb that I do, but I won’t make any promises.


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