Cursed 027: Feelings From the Past

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Chapter 27: Feelings From the Past

Hiiiiiii-!

I feel like I have that kind of manga sfx running through my head right now.

Sayuri-san, the kitsune we met at the Shrine of Inari, looks like she has flames rising up from around her, her hair and tale bristling with anger.

It’s exactly a manga scene, isn’t it?

Heh…

…! No good, I’m trying to escape from reality.

After a few moments of silence, where I feel like I’m going to piss my pants from the tension (not really), Honoka, no, the statue-like kitsune sitting in seiza behind me, finally opened her eyes and said,

“You are the daughter of Hiirogane and Kaori?”

At those words, the atmosphere around Sayuri-san seemed to get even tenser and crackle with sparks of electricity.

And her tail suddenly split into four tails.

Eeeh…

“I’ve been training, ever since that day, to be able to defeat you if you ever became unsealed. But now you’re the pet dog of some youngster human?!”

That human is sitting right here…

Yeah. I’m not dumb enough to speak up, though.

No, as the master, should I actually speak up here?

Mumumu.

“I cannot bring back the dead. I cannot make reparations sufficient enough towards you. So. What is it you wish of me?”

Honoka is like a completely different person.

Even as she admits that she’s in the wrong, she maintains an aura of absolute command.

So this is the Rieko from 2,000 years ago, the commander of Inari’s guard.

An uncomfortable feeling begins to twist inside my chest.

At the same time, a murderous aura begins to rise from Sayuri-san.

“I want to hit you.”

Eeeeeeeh…

“Until my anger is gone, I want to hit you.”

Oioioi, hang on just a minute!

I have some objections to this, you know?!

But as I’m staring with a stupid face, still completely broad-sided by Sayuri-san’s request, Honoka,

“If that is what it takes, then I will accept your rage.”

“Hang on a-!”

As I start to protest, Honoka, with the smooth movements of a warrior who has complete control over every part of her body, turns her seiza so she is facing me and bows.

“I understand it’s unbecoming, but I request for you to allow me this selfishness.”

Without even hint of flattery or coaxing, Serious-Honoka makes only that request.

I feel the words I was about to say get swallowed back down.

“…”

My stomach clenches as I stare down at Honoka, whose eyes are fully focused on the floor, then at Sayuri-san, who pointedly doesn’t look in my direction..

“… Do you know what you’re getting yourself into?”

I ask.

Honoka lifts her head up and just stares at me with her deep, amber eyes.

The silly, cheerful look has disappeared somewhere and there’s a cold, solemn feeling instead.

It’s seriously unnerving.

I swallow hard, then say,

“… I get it. Do whatever you want. But don’t forget, you still have to wash the dishes tonight.”

If you can guarantee that you’ll be able to walk home with me after this, then… do whatever you want.

Honoka made another clean bow.

Against my personal wishes, the matter was settled.

Sayuri-san lead Honoka and I further into the residence building.

… It’s bigger than it looks on the outside.

“Ishikawa-sama, please wait outside the room.”

Sayuri-san appears to have no antagonism towards me, despite her fierce attitude towards Honoka.

She bows politely at the entrance to a large roo – courtyard? Eh? It should be a room… shouldn’t it?

I shelve those questions and ask,

“Ah… am I not allowed to watch?”

“You can, from the door. But inside will be quite dangerous, and although you are powerful…”

“It’s okay, you can just say it. I got it. I’ll wait outside.”

Sayuri-san bows towards me, then turns towards Honoka.

Her demeanor does a complete 180 as she coldly says,

“Enter.”

Without batting an eye or changing expressions, Honoka enters the room, followed by Sayuri-san.

Without a single signal, Sayuri-san leapt towards Honoka in a ferocious pounce.

It was very one-sided.

What am I talking about?

When they entered the room, Honoka stood in the middle, as if she was a statue.

Sayuri-san on the other hand began attacking her.

It’s a one-sided beating.

The sounds don’t leak out of the room, and it looks like Honoka isn’t taking all that much damage, but watching this makes my stomach hurt.

A minute passes and I really start feeling sickened when, from behind,

“It would be within your rights to stop this. That youko is effectively yours under the authority of O-Inari-sama. Even a myoubu like Sayuri won’t be able to insist on this.”

I look over as Fushimi-san limps over.

“Is this alright?”

He asks again.

I frown.

Somehow, it’s unpleasant.

Honoka, with circumstances I don’t understand, doing dangerous things I don’t like.

But I feel like it’s important to Honoka – no, Rieko.

“… I just feel like it’s something those two have to do.”

Is how I finally decided to reply to Fushimi-san.

“Is that so?”

Fushimi-san stands next to me, leaning on his cane, looking in at the crazy, one-sided fight.

“Well, your youko will probably be fine. The difference between two tails is a chasm that Sayuri-san won’t be able to cross easily.”

I thought so.

Honoka’s not even flinching, even if she’s getting a bit beat up.

I don’t really want to keep watching, though.

Even if she’s not being hurt badly, it’s unpleasant.

I turn away and say,

“It seems I’ve given you some trouble.”

Fushimi-san pauses for a second, seeming to be mulling over something in his mind, before he realizes and says,

“… Ah, Azami-san? That woman was going to be trouble either way. In a sense, having the topic diverted towards you instead of the matter from the other night could be considered beneficial.”

I-is that so?

“Well, it’s better that she left before finding out about this little match.”

Fushimi-san nods towards the room.

“…I had heard that Inari’s kitsune would hold a grudge against her, but I didn’t think we’d have to deal with a situation like this so soon.”

To my idle statement, Fushimi-san pauses again, then slowly says,

“Hm…that… well, your expectations are a bit antiquated. No, well, I suppose from your youko’s side, it would be expected, hm?”

…Huh?

I don’t understand Fushimi-san at all.

I stare at him blankly.

Fushimi-san sighed.

“Hm… let’s see… It’s true that normally, the myobu, especially the ones who had been alive from that time, would hold grudges against your youko, but a lot of things happened within the span of 2,000 years.”

“Eh? Ah… really?”

“In the first place, a single-tailed kitsune would only live around 1,000 years. As their tails increase, their life expectancy also increases, but it’s not that easy to gain tails, you know? Sayuri-san is actually one of the oldest ones.”

“Ah… so most of the ones who were alive from around that time have already died? Hm? But Honoka said that they would most likely still hold grudges, even after 2,000 years.”

It’s not like Honoka wouldn’t know the life expectancy of a kitsune, right?

Fushimi-san nodded vaguely.

“Well, like I said, a lot of things happened over the last 2,000 years. More specifically, a great big incident, well, a global catastrophe, really, happened within a few decades of … Honoka? Of her sealing.”

“Global catastr – the Veil?”

“So you know of that much. It makes the talk a little easier. The entire world was practically destroyed when the Veil fell, you know? Inari-sama and the elite myobu were actually seriously considering releasing your youko to help prevent all of Japan from being wiped out.”

Eh…

“But, surprisingly, her seal-stone became an anchor-stone instead and kept this land and the wisteria from crumbling in the upheavals. Even today, this is one of the few lands whose magic and leylines remain unchanged from before the Veil.”

Eeeeeh…

“So while ordinarily your youko’s transgressions and foolishness would be passed along as inherited grudges along the myobu’s lines, with circumstances the way they were, the story goes that, because of your youko’s foolishness, a six-tailed kitsune was sealed and saved this land.”

Honoka, you’re a founding legend now…

“… The story’s scale is too big. I can’t comprehend it.”

Fushimi-san chuckled.

“Well, I feel the same. We humans can’t fully wrap our minds around that kind of scale. And looking at her, you wouldn’t think you’re meeting such a person at all.”

I completely agree.

Although I was able to see a portion of that just a little while ago.

“Then, Sayuri-san’s grudge…”

“Ah. Well, of course there are going to be exceptions. For Sayuri, the circumstances are a little different, too. Your youko was supposed to become her godmother, after all.”

“…Huh?!”

I stare at Fushimi-san, eyes round.

What the – weren’t the circumstances I completely didn’t know about super important?!

Hoooonokaaaa-!!

“Well, because of that… hm. I wonder if Sayuri even knows why she’s fighting?”

“…What do you mean?”

“Is she angry that your youko let her parents die? Is she looking to test your youko to see if she was a worthy commander? Is she wanting to see the strength of a legendary six-tail? Does she want to see the qualities your youko has to be her godmother? Or is she looking for your youko to approve of her? I think… there are a lot of mixed emotions within Sayuri.”

“… It looked like pure anger to me.”

“Hm… 2,000 years is a long time, you know? Although Sayuri was certainly fixated on the Sealed One, it wouldn’t be surprising if her desire for reparations became tinted with other emotions. She was only a small child who hung on the praises of her parents regarding the legendary six-tail guard commander at the time, after all.”

I think this is also something I won’t really be able to understand.

Before I can say anything else,

PIKAAAAA-!

“Ugh!”

I wince and drop down into a crouch, covering my ears with my hands.

A harsh noise erupted, a crash along with a very high-pitched, ringing sound. It was like someone had broken a glass that was resonating at a high frequency.

It’s honestly very painful.

“That Sayuri… I’m the one who will have to fix the spatial barrier.”

Fushimi-san muttered.

He glanced down at me, then said,

“…For you to feel it that badly, it seems you are indeed exceptionally sensitive to supernatural phenomena.”

“Uu… Honoka?!”

If I think about what happened… that, it was a blow capable of blowing apart a spatial barrier in a shrine, right?

Even if I don’t know exactly how strong the barrier was, it couldn’t have been a weak blow-!

I grasp the frame of the doorway and look in.

Within the room… well, first of all, it was actually a dojo-like room now, not a courtyard, and it was a room blown to bits.

On one side you can see a busted up part on the wall, like someone had crashed against it, and underneath it was Honoka, slumped over on the ground.

She was looking down, with a gentle, troubled smile, at the black-haired four-tail kitsune who was crying into her chest.

—

A little bit later and a change of location back to the first room Sayuri-san led us to..

“To be honest… I know there’s not much sense in going against Inari-ookami-sama’s demands, but somehow … my emotions became a little unstable.”

Sayuri-san is apologizing to me, her eyes still red from crying.

Although you should be apologizing to Honoka… well, I do understand that, even if the harshest flame of anger was quenched, you can’t just change your feelings about someone that easily.

“No, that’s… it’s fine. I also let it happen.”

I’m not okay with it, but there’s no reason to be a pain in the ass in this kind of situation.

I don’t know if Honoka made up with her, or like there’s clearly still a distance between Honoka and Sayuri-san, but at least Sayuri-san doesn’t seem to want to fight her anymore.

Sayuri-san refreshes my cup of tea and serves a cup to Fushimi-san, then sits down a little to Fushimi-san’s rear.

Honoka is also sitting behind me, but she’s no longer acting like the commander, sitting like a statue all the way against the wall.

Like Sayuri-san is to Fushimi-san, she’s sitting a little behind me.

… Oh! I see, it’s kind of like the actions of a feudal lord’s retainer or something.

So Sayuri-san is … maybe she’s not his familiar, but she seems to be something similar to Fushimi-san.

When I asked about Yui-chan, the loli-miko’s, condition, the response I got was,

“… She is alive. I think… that’s all I can continue to hope for. The scar is unremovable, and her spiritual powers are… gone.”

“O-oh…”

Heavy. The atmosphere is heavy, Fushimi-san.

What do I say to that? I feel like the, ‘Hope she gets better soon’ that was initially at the tip of my tongue is completely out of place.

Thankfully, Fushimi-san carried on the conversation.

“Well. Although I hadn’t planned to have a chance to have a discussion at length with you, it seems that Azami-san’s timing has given me this opportunity. May I ask what you plan for yourself from now on?”

Fushimi-san asked with a more business-like tone from now on.

“Uh… well, I’ve already kind of heard of the bad situation I’m in. Although nothing seems to have happened so far, except for getting a solicitation from Happy Work Life.”

Or was it Happy Life Work?

Anyway, this was a lucky break. I decided to consult Fushimi-san about my situation.

Somehow, with him being connected to Inari-ookami gave him a credibility I felt like I could rely on.

At my statement, Fushimi-san sighed and said,

“… Of course the Witch made her move already. Well, it is actually not a bad situation. What will you do?”

“I honestly don’t know anything. Everything I’ve heard about it is from people from there, so…”

“Mm. Are you not interested in sheltering under a big tree?”

Big tree, you say… well, I understand what he means.

“To be honest, the idea of not getting stuck in a big organization appeals more to me.”

I said.

Fushimi-san sighed.

“I don’t really like that woman, but if your goal is to remain unrestricted, then that would honestly be the wisest choice.”

So it was like that.

I had the feeling it would be like that.

Even though I’ve been hearing it from various people, it really is reassuring to hear it from this Head Priest-sama.

“Now, there is some risks. The important thing to remember is that everything Nagi Kinjou says-“

Fushimi-san hesitates, so I supplement the most common phrase that comes at the end of a sentence like that.

“Is a lie?”

Surprisingly, Fushimi-san shook his head.

“No. Just the opposite.”

Eh? So she only speaks the truth?

“She’s a woman who uses her body and tone to cast doubts.”

Uhh…

So basically, even if what she says is the truth, she acts in a way to make you doubt her.

“If everyone knows it, is it really that effective?”

I ask.

“Hmph. That woman’s mannerisms are just too provocative. It’s easy to say that you’ll just believe whatever she says, but when faced with negotiating with a woman like her, can you focus on the matter at hand without getting irritated?”

It’s true that her actions and words are like they’re trying to get under your skin.

More like, if I think about it, the things I remember most about her are her provocative manners – and her assets.

“… That’s… what a troublesome person.”

In a negotiation… yeah. I can see most people just getting pissed off that she’s not acting professionally.

“… Well, regardless, this Shrine of Inari and Inari-ookami-sama herself hold a debt of no small degree towards you, so we will support you to the best of our abilities.”

That is actually really reassuring.

As Honoka and I were preparing to leave, Fushimi-san spoke up, as if suddenly remembering something.

“That’s right. Inari-ookami-sama said she would be dropping by your house tonight with a rather important guest and asked for you to prepare suitable snacks.”

“Oh, oka… huh?!”

Fushimi-san’s eyes twinkled with curiosity as he looked at me.

“Normally she’d just say to prepare suitably. I wonder how high you must have your Cooking Blessing to be able to grasp a kami’s stomach.”

… I’m not sure how I feel about you just assuming I have the Cooking Blessing, but … well, it IS true.

I feel a twinge of stress in the depths of my stomach.

“Ahaha… tonight?”

My head hurts too, but I don’t think I can get out of entertaining a kami by claiming illness.

—

The visit to the Shrine of Inari took longer than expected.

I wonder if Daiki-san was already home.

As Honoka and I walked back together, there was silence between us.

Honoka walked, somewhat listlessly, in front of me.

She seems to be in a bit of a daze.

Her back is no longer the energetic Honoka I’ve been acquainted with, nor is it the straight, forceful kitsune commander I didn’t know.

Right now, it’s a small back that radiates a sense of forlornness.

I’m not skilled enough to able to pierce through that aura with my words.

And so, again, we’re walking in silence.

“…My apologies. It seems I made you worried because of my personal business.”

Honoka says suddenly, with a voice like it’s being squeezed out.

“A…ah… no, well,”

My head swirled a bit, and the muddy, negative feelings I’ve been having churn around inside.

How do I feel about this?

‘Don’t get me involved,’ isn’t the sentiment I’m having.

If anything, if something happens to her, I’d rather it happen with me knowing.

“It’s not like I care about being troubled with your personal stuff. I get that there’s stuff that’s going to happen because of what happened in the past, and I don’t really care that it could be troublesome, just…”

But I don’t like it.

What don’t I like?

I didn’t like that Honoka had to do something dangerous, obviously, but that’s not all, is it?

I just didn’t like it… I don’t!

The Honoka that suddenly felt distant, the Honoka I don’t know about.

Did I like that Honoka got beat up by Sayuri-san?

Of course not.

Did I want to stop it?

Of course!

So why didn’t I?

Somehow…

If I didn’t allow this, would Honoka be able to fully become Honoka? Or will a part of her remain as the dignified commander with regrets that would span all eternity, Rieko?

Somehow, it’s unpleasant.

The Honoka I know likes anime, is a glutton, is cheeky, and somehow reliable.

It’s not like I want to tell her to forget about the past or anything… I mean, I don’t care if there are things like angry kitsune or whatever that will come after her, and I know it’s not like I can tell her to act like nothing ever happened.

The past happened.

But I don’t want her to wallow in it.

I open and close my mouth several times, trying to figure out what to say.

Dammit.

“Just remember, you’re my familiar, Honoka now, not Rieko!”

I storm off past her without giving Honoka a chance to respond.

From behind,

“… Kukuku. If you’re going to say something cool, then you should act cool until the end.”

“Sh-shut up!”

I’m aware that I’m bright red in the face.

Laughing lightly, Honoka ran to catch up with me, an unreadable look on her face.

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<a/n: So I have about a week and one last big project for this 9-month course thing I’ve been doing.
I don’t want to say that I’ll be able to translate more after it, because it always feels like something else comes along, but … well, it’s true that the reading was a LOT.
Fluvia 10 also up >