Toaru Ossan no VRMMO Katsudouki
Author: Shiina Howahowa
Dance of the Fairies Second Half, the Fairies Whose Egos Began to Grow are …
[“O-i, Earth-kun, can you hear me~? It’s Rona.”]
That Whisper flew in after I’d somewhat recovered from my orz and had stood up;
It’s rare for one to come from Rona.
[“Aa, I hear you. If you only need to talk I’m ok.”]
[‘that so. I’ve got something I want to discuss, is that fine?”]
[“About making food right? For your Fairy.”]
– A, thanks for waiting. Over here you wanted a Fairy’s portion, right?
[“Aré? How did you know what I wanted to say?”]
– It will be a bit of a wait until the next batch is complete~.
[“Right now there’s a ton of players asking the exact same thing!”]
Right now I’m mass-producing, not fried chicken nuggets, but Fried Rabbit Nuggets1.
I haven’t gotten them to Quality 7 yet so originally I didn’t want to put them up for sale, but right now continuing to make a large amount has become top priority.
It’s kind of become a stall that specializes in fried meat.
All of the players who’ve come to buy them have come to buy them for their [Fairies].
How did it get to this.
I reflect on what happened 30 minutes ago while being soothed by a sheep-like Fairy nuzzling against my leg. This little one’s master is right in front of the stall stuffing his cheeks with fried meat.
A, I’ve stowed away the dangerous attachments on my shoes, alright?
I’m not wearing them because the Fairies keep dropping in to nuzzle against me.
After Fairy Seducer’s notoriety became set in stone (I don’t want to accept it, but it can’t be helped) it was probably about 10 minutes after I accepted it and stood up?
I completely didn’t have the energy to head out for the hunting areas, so I decided to stay put cooking in a food stall while making plans to do my best tomorrow; at that time a male player came over.
Is he going to buy some food? But just when I was thinking that …
“’Scuse me, do you have any food items for this guy (Fairy)?”
Is what he asked for.
When asked why, up until now he fed it with NPC bread he bought from the store, but after the update it started eating less and giving a dissatisfied reaction when eating it.
It eats fruit, but just eating fruit seems a bit unfortunate.
The Fairies are omnivorous, so it’s not a problem of what they’re able to eat …
The player who is the sheep-like Fairy’s master’s shoulders slumped.
He sure loves it, naa.
When I try and feed it a Boiled Horned Rabbit Steak it immediately chowed down.
Munchmunchmunchmunch it gobbled it all up in an instant.
Is it okay not take it from your master, oi; though I’m making a retort, it must have been hungry since it’s single-mindedly eating.
The sheep’s master and I faced each other in silence.
When he murmured, “As expected of the peerless Fairy Seducer,”
I flung back, “What the hell!2”
I should see whether or not I can make a Tsukkomi Harisen (though out of iron).3
Anyway, we’ve established that it will eat food made for players.
With this it feels like it’ll be fine.
Since the steak was something I fed it as an experiment, I didn’t charge him.
I’m just happy it was resolved.
With that settled, the next thing we want is “something that satisfies for the cheapest price.”
What were the sentiments of the guy behind it?
“To spoil them you have to let them eat something good, yo!” When I retorted, the reason he gave was …
“This guy, he eats an awful lot ….”
He tearfully complains.
Whatever you say, with it’s Tackle and magic attacks in combat it will definitely make things easier, and certainly the earnings increased, but well.
Anyway this guy eats really well.
To be specific, before the sheep’s master had finished one steak, the little sheep had devoured 4….
If it’s 4 pieces of NPC bread the food costs aren’t too extravagant, but when it comes to feeding it the same food players eat the situation changes.
Looks like his Engel’s coefficient4 jumped up; why is this starting to feel like we’re adjusting a family budget …
With the situation at that degree he’s been going around begging for cooks to do anything they can to help.
What we need is something that’s cheap, easy to mass produce, and relatively simple.
For that, fried meat would perfectly hit the target.
Making the marinade is a little bit of a hassle, but time-wise it’s nothing big; using a heavier flavored seasoning will shorten the time the rabbit meat will need to marinate.
In real-life this marinating method would only be ridiculous, but it works so we’ll use it.
After that we’ll use the [Cooking] Art <Cooking Acceleration> to further shorten the time.
With this I’ll be able to mass produce them until the ingredients run out.
Although salt and pepper are expensive, buying just one portion of soy sauce gives me a large volume, and the price for garlic is also reduced since you can’t eat it on its own.
The result: I can achieve the low price of 3 pieces for 20Glow; within that the profits are pretty slim.
This time I’m only doing this separate to help people out.
This will probably sell pretty well; though it’s only a recipe I’ve made through a rush order, somehow there are players appearing to order it called through Whisper.
Furthermore, I’m getting kind of a bad feeling.
“Um, what’s going … on?”
The response was simple.
“I just told my friends that there’s cheap and easy food being put out here.”
It really came … Aa, it’s the beginning of the war, the cooking war …
I’m going to be logging out late again, dazé…
[“And so I’m now in the middle of a Cooking Frenzy.”]
I convey all this to Rona while continuing to do all this cooking.
From the other end a [“Uwaa …”] from Rona can be heard.
With an improved meal for Fairies out, it wasn’t just the sheep Fairy in a bind; a lot of customers are coming by, ee.
Just to say it again, “How did it get to this!”
In the end I continued to mass produce Fried Rabbit Nuggets until I was exhausted.
Maa, in real life the marinade would drop in quality, and while frying the oil would become dirty; since these don’t happen it’s probably pretty easygoing.
Until the very end I continued to fry meat.
Looks like this is going to be my daily activity everyday.
[Hunting Bow]Lv38 [Kicking Assault]Lv5 [Farsight]Lv45
[Wind Magic]Lv43 [Craftsmanship]Lv42
[Cooking]Lv46 [Stealth]Lv32 [Physical Ability Reinforcement]Lv13
[Blacksmithing]Lv25 [Woodworking]Lv24 [Alchemy]Lv35
Fairies are also greedy; the food requests increase.
Earth’s sufferings continue from hereon!
- kara’age – It’s not that pre-processed chicken sawdust type nugget, but more like boneless fried chicken in bite-sized pieces. Meat is cut up into bite sized pieces, marinated, lightly coated in starch, and then deep-fried. Kara’age, though actually a term referring to the way of cooking, typically refers to chicken kara’age as it’s the most common kara’age made. Which is why Earth bothers pointing out that what he’s using is what I assume to be Horned Rabbit Meat. Poor Horned Rabbits, forever at the bottom of the food chain.
- nandeyanen – a kansai-dialect trademark saying, used as a comedic response to stupid or foolish sayings/actions. The sheep’s master manages to elicit this extremely stereotypical “what the hell” response from Earth, subtly hinting at Earth’s inner tsukkomi potential.
- tsukkomi – I didn’t translate “tsukkomi” in this instance because it was written in katakana instead of the usual kanji. A tsukkomi is a retort on comedic/foolish actions. Generally known for the comedy given between a person who plays the fool (boke) and a person who points out the fool’s foolishness (tsukkomi), or the straight man. The straight man gives the tsukkomi, which can also be considered as the punchline to a joke.
In the most standard-template stand-up comedy, the fool will say something ridiculous as if he’s completely serious about it, and the straight man will yell out, “Nandeyanen!” and hit the fool with a paper fan designed to make a loud slapping noise called a harisen.
Ah… Earth? An iron harisen is basically a weapon you know?
- Engel’s coefficient – Quick answer: the proportion of money spent on food in a family budget. Long answer: In this case, even though his earnings have increased, the sheep’s master is still going broke since the proportion of the money spent on food increased at a more drastic rate. Yay economics?